drove 40 minutes to the art store for ONE tube of burnt umber and they were out
Not low. OUT. And the guy at the counter says it like it's weather. "Yeah we've been out of that one for a while." A WHILE. I called ahead. I called. Someone told me they had it. So now I'm standing there in the aisle with my whole Saturday shot, because I can't finish the hands without that brown, the hands are the ONLY part that's working, and I'm supposed to just... swap in raw sienna? Just pick a different brown? Sir I have been painting this same piece for eleven days. That brown is the whole reason it's alive.
Walked out with a tube of something called "burnt sienna deep" that I do not trust and a canvas I didn't need, because I'm not leaving empty handed, that feels like losing. It's sitting on the table staring at me. I know it's the wrong brown. I can feel it from here.
Anyway if anyone knows a place in this city that actually keeps burnt umber in stock, tell me, I'll drive an hour, I'll drive two, I'll bring snacks.
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Ah here, the "yeah we've been out of that one a while" delivered like a weather report is what'd finish me. Like he's telling you it might rain later. And you called ahead, which is the cruel bit. Being told on the phone they have it is a promise, and promises from a shop counter are worth exactly nothing once you're standing in the aisle.
The hands being the only part that's working is the real wound though. Eleven days in and the one bit that's alive to you is the bit you can't touch without the right brown. I do relief printing so my whole thing is one colour and a knife, but I've had the same carry-on with ink. Drove to town for a tin of black, they'd a shade called "near black" instead, and I bought it out of pure stubbornness and it sat in the studio for two years as a reminder of my own foolishness.
Burnt sienna deep isn't burnt umber, and you know it, and that's the whole problem. It's warmer, it's redder, it'll go muddy on you where the umber would've held. But you're going to try it anyway because the Saturday's already gone and the piece is staring at you. Let it sit a day before you decide. Sometimes the wrong brown teaches you something and sometimes it's just the wrong brown. Good luck with the hands.
The weather report delivery is the part that gets me too. Nobody lies on purpose, the person on the phone just says what they hope is true. I've driven out for smalti on a promise like that. Now I ask them to go and put their hand on the box while I wait. It's a small rudeness but it saves the day.
You're right about the hands though. That's not about colour, that's about the one place the piece is still breathing. Raw sienna would read as a different person's skin. Sometimes you just have to leave it and come back when the brown exists again.
"put their hand on the box while I wait", ok I'm stealing that, that's genius and slightly feral and I love it. Because it's not even about being rude to them, it's that a person on the phone CAN'T check, they're just repeating a hope and you're the one driving 40 minutes on it. So you make them go LOOK. Yeah. Doing that from now on.
And thank you for the hands thing, genuinely. That's the bit I needed to hear and not from the guy at the counter. Raw sienna would read as a different person's skin, exactly, you'd lose the whole pulse of it. Eleven days in and the hands were the only thing that still felt alive and I nearly wrecked that just to be DONE.
So I'm leaving it. It's sitting on the easel half-finished and I'm trying to make peace with that instead of forcing it. Weirdly calmer about it now.
"might rain later" is EXACTLY it, he had the same face you'd make telling someone the bus is cancelled. and I called. I CALLED. stood in my kitchen with the phone on speaker like an idiot making sure.
And you're right, the hands are the wound. Eleven days in and if I touch them with the wrong brown I lose the whole thread, they go flat and dead and I can't unsee it. I did it anyway. I mixed up the burnt sienna deep and it's too orange, too hot, the whole thing is yelling now. Might be better. Might be ruined. That's the 3am coin flip 😭
one colour and a knife though, what are you cutting into? that's the version of this where there's nowhere to hide and honestly I think I need that