Finished a painting in four sittings. Four. I don't know what to do with myself.
Not a brag, more like I'm suspicious of it. The little 8x10 of the marsh behind the rec center took me four evenings. Usually the same size takes me three weeks because I keep going back in and fussing at the reeds until they turn to mud. This time I laid the block-in on Tuesday, decided it was fine, and left it alone.
My husband asked if I'm feeling okay.
The thing that changed: I finally stopped trying to paint every single blade of grass and just did the shapes. Big flat shapes, then a few marks, then stop. It looks looser than my stuff normally does and I keep waiting to hate it, but I don't. It's hanging on the fridge right now which my 8 year old thinks is hilarious.
So now I'm stuck on what to do with an extra two weeks. Part of me wants to start something bigger and part of me wants to just leave the easel empty for a while and see if the quiet does anything.
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The four sittings aren't the suspicious part to me. What you describe is just the difference between describing the marsh and painting it. Shapes first, marks second, then hands off. That's not a shortcut, that's the actual discipline, and it took me years of doing the opposite to learn it.
The suspicious feeling will pass, probably around the time you start the next one and it goes back to three weeks. Some paintings just arrive and you don't get credit for them, they were already waiting.
"some paintings just arrive and you don't get credit for them" oof. that's the part I keep arguing with. I want to believe it but part of me thinks if it came easy I didn't earn it, which is a stupid way to live and I know it. the hands off bit is the one I can't do though. I'll get the shapes right and then my whole body wants to go back in and fix the reeds anyway. how do you sit on your hands
Honestly the hands thing is the whole battle. What works for me is a hard stop, not willpower: I set a timer, and when it goes off I turn the painting to the wall and walk away. If it's facing me I'll find something to fix, every time. Turning it around feels dumb but it works better than telling myself to be disciplined.
And I get the earned thing. I'm trying to think of it as the four weeks of mud being the practice that let this one come easy, not a debt I have to pay on every canvas. Still working on believing that one though.
"describing the marsh and painting it" is going to sit with me, that's exactly it. I've been calling it a shortcut in my head when it's really me finally trusting the shapes. And the part about it going back to three weeks, ha, yes, that's the fear. I'll take the easy one while it's here.