Found a box of my ex-husband's old paperbacks and I'm keeping two
Cleaning out the basement today and found a box of my ex's old paperbacks. He left them when he moved out, four years ago. I shouldve donated the whole thing but I pulled out two and kept them. One has his handwriting in the margin, some note to himself about a character, and I can't throw that out yet. The other is a beat up copy of something I actually loved too, so it feels less like hoarding his stuff and more like we both liked the same book once.
Rest is going in the donation pile. But it's weird how one small box still has this hold on me. Thought I was done with all that.
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The one with his handwriting in the margin is the one I get. That's not hoarding, that's just evidence that two people were real together once. Four years is a long time but some things just refuse to finish, and that's okay na?
I think keeping the one you both loved is the healthier one, actually. It's honest. You're not pretending you never shared anything. You just don't want it anymore, and that's a different thing entirely.
Good on you for donating the rest though. That takes more spine than people give it credit for.
yeah, the handwriting one is the one I keep going back to. it's not even a love note, just him scribbling "this guy is a coward" next to some character, and that's somehow more him than any goodbye we ever had.
the shared book thing... you're right, it is the honest one. we did like the same stuff once, that's just true. doesn't mean I want it back, just means it happened.
and thanks. took me most of a day to actually load the box into the car. felt dumb how hard that was.