Found a box of my ex-husband's old slides
Found a box of my ex-husband's old slides at the back of a closet yesterday. We split four years ago, he'd have sworn he took everything. 200-some slides of vacations we took together, mostly boring ones. A beach in Portugal. A dumb monument somewhere in Italy. His hand holding a beer.
I sat on the floor and looked at every single one. Not sad exactly. Weird. Like reading a book you know the ending to but forgot the middle.
I'm not going to destroy them or make them into art or do anything meaningful. That feels like the expected move and I hate the expected move. I think I'm just going to put them back in the box and let him come get them someday, or not. There's something okay about leaving them there unexamined, too.
Anyone else sitting on things they should have thrown out years ago?
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"reading a book you know the ending to but forgot the middle" is exactly it. I think that's why looking through old photos does that weird thing where you're not sad but you're also not fine, you're just... somewhere else for a minute.
And honestly good for you for not doing something meaningful with them. Everyone thinks the only options are destroy or memorialize and there's something kind of honest about just... keeping them in a box. They existed, you were there, and it doesn't have to be a whole thing.
Do you think you'll ever show him you found them? Or is that just adding a scene to a book that's already closed.
yeah, "somewhere else for a minute" is the exact feeling. like the room goes a little soft around the edges and then snaps back.
and thank you for getting the not-doing-anything-with-them part. everyone keeps telling me i could make something out of them and i keep thinking... why would i. they're his photos of our joint life. they can just sit in a box and be that.
no, i'm not telling him. we're friendly, it's not that. but he moved on, got a whole new life, and me texting him "hey found your old slides" adds a scene to a movie he's done with. feels like poking something that's resting. they're mine now, that's the end of it.