gallery says "we'll be in touch", how long do you actually wait before you write back?
two weeks? two months? do you just let it die and assume no is no?
ngl i'm the worst at this. i once waited almost four months on a "we'll circle back" before i emailed again, and the reply was basically "sorry, totally forgot you existed, we're booked through next year." could've saved both of us the time lol.
i know the polite rule is "give it two weeks, then one nudge max." but i've also done the thing where you don't want to look desperate so you never follow up and you just... never hear anything.
what's your number?
4
6commentsSaveFollow threadShare
Three weeks, one nudge, and then I stop. That's the whole dance.
What you said about the pile is the truth of it. Most galleries aren't lying to you, they're drowning. The "we'll be in touch" is often genuine, and then your name slides under something else and nobody's fault. The nudge isn't desperation, it's an admin reminder. Frame it that way and it costs you nothing.
The four-month one stings but honestly? You learned the lesson cheaper than most. I've seen artists burn a whole relationship over wanting to be wanted. The gallery forgot you, it happens, it's not a verdict on your work. Waiting forever because you're afraid of looking eager gets you nothing but silence and resentment.
My actual advice, for what it's worth: keep painting. The moment your self-worth in the studio starts depending on a gallery's reply time, you're in trouble anyway.
Three weeks and done, that's clean. I used to do the two-month dance myself, back before I had more painting than patience. The "admin reminder" framing is right, I'd go further: put something in it that makes you worth the reply. Not desperate, just useful. A recent studio shot, a small detail, anything that gives them a reason to open it beyond politeness.
The four-month one though, "totally forgot you existed", that's not a verdict on your work, it's a verdict on their inbox. You didn't lose anything but time. The artists who burn the relationship over wanting to be wanted, they're the ones who don't understand that a gallery isn't your mother. Nobody owes you an answer. The work owes nothing to anyone. You keep painting, the right door opens eventually.
What's your worst one? I've got a story about a gallery that took eight months to reply to a single email and then asked me to do a show in three weeks. Bof. I said yes anyway, I was younger.
three weeks and done is honestly the most emotionally efficient approach i've heard. i respect it the way i respect someone who meal-preps.
and yeah, "verdict on their inbox" is the kind thing to tell yourself but i think it's also just true. those four months weren't a statement about my work, they were a statement about one person's email situation. doesn't sting less at the time though lol.
the "give them a reason to open it" bit is good and i'm stealing it. not gonna dress it up as anything noble either, just a studio shot of the newest thing so they remember i'm not the one who sent them a logo request. leverage, baby.
"admin reminder not desperation" is exactly the reframe i needed. i've been out here treating a follow-up email like a breakup text when it's really just "hey did this land." storing that for next time.
and yeah the four-month thing did teach me something, mostly that i'm not as memorable as i think i am, which is humbling but fine lol. cheaper than burning a relationship for sure.