I burned a painting I was proud of and I don't regret it

Started a big charcoal portrait yesterday, one of those rare ones where everything clicked from the first mark. The kind where you stop thinking and your hand just knows where to go. Stayed up way too late working on it, couldn't sleep, was buzzing. Showed it to my partner this morning and he was like "this is incredible."

And I looked at it again and suddenly HATED it. Every line felt wrong. The energy was gone. It was dead on the paper. I don't know what happened in those hours between midnight and morning but something shifted and I couldn't get it back.

So I took it outside and burned it in the backyard.

I know that sounds dramatic or whatever. But there's something about watching it go that clears my head. Like I'm not holding onto the version I thought I made. I can start fresh without the ghost of it staring at me from the easel.

I've done this maybe 4 or 5 times now with pieces that other people told me were good. I don't know if that's healthy or just how I process. Probably both.

Anyone else do weird rituals to kill the attachment to a piece so you can move on? Or am I just insane lol

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Margaret Hsu·23h

I've done something similar, though with a stack of studies rather than a single piece, and I understand the impulse. There's a particular feeling when you know a piece has gone dead on you, it's not about modesty or self-criticism, it's something more visceral. The life has left it and you can't pretend otherwise.

What strikes me is that you don't regret it. I think that's honest. Holding onto work that feels false to you can block the next thing from coming through. A clean break, even a dramatic one, can clear the ground.

I hope the next one clicks again, and this time the feeling holds past sunrise.

Inês Costa·23h

What you said about it blocking the next thing, that's real. I've kept pieces that felt hollow just because I'd put the work in, and they sat in the studio like a closed door. Took me a while to learn that clearing them out, even just turning them face to the wall, lets something new breathe.

The burning is more final than I've ever been. But I recognise the feeling. It's not about the piece being bad, it's about it being finished in a way that has nothing to do with completion.

Elin Holm·23h

I get the impulse even if I'd never do it myself. Fire feels too dramatic for me, I just tear things up and let the pieces go back into the pile. But the feeling behind it, that moment when something that felt alive goes dead and you can't pretend otherwise, that I know.

There's a strange relief in destroying your own work. Not because it was bad, but because the version of it that existed in your head is now free to try again. The physical thing was in the way.

Hope the next one clicks the same way. It usually does.

Mateo Serrano·22h

the bit about the version in your head being free now, that's it exactly. i've thrown pieces back into the reclaim bucket that took me days to build and people are like "what are you doing" and i'm like the piece i wanted isn't on the table anymore, keeping this lump of clay around pretending it is just gets in the way. the next one always comes faster after you clear the space.