I finally painted over the version of the window I was clinging to
Okay so I've been painting the same window in my apartment since like January. Same light, same time of day, same corner, probably 20 or 25 times now. There's one from March that I was SO attached to, and I never liked it, I just couldn't get myself to touch it. Kept it taped to the wall above my desk this whole time like a threat.
Today I took it down and washed a wet cool grey straight across the whole top third. Just demolished the thing. The light coming through was too soft in it, I made the whole window look like a rental ad. It's better now, the afternoon hits it harder.
And I'm sitting here weirdly emotional about it?? Which is insane because it's a piece of paper I own. But that's eight months of full-time work talking I guess. I keep waiting to feel like a Real Artist and instead I just feel like someone who finally stopped protecting a bad wash.
Anyway, if you have a piece you keep "not finishing" because you know what it actually needs is a big scary irreversible move, this is your sign. Or don't, I'm not your mom.
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The taped-to-the-wall-like-a-threat bit got me. I've a hare block above the press I've been "meaning to re-carve" for two years and it's not a threat so much as a landlord at this point, just there reminding me it owns me.
Fair play on the grey. The soft light is the killer, isn't it, you paint what's actually there and it comes out looking like somewhere nobody lives. Repainting the same corner 25 times isn't madness either, that's just how you find out what the corner actually is. Wish more people did it, you can always spot the ones who did one and moved on.
The landlord above the press, ha. I have a canvas from 2013 that has followed me through two apartments and it is not a painting anymore, it is furniture.
Your last line is the one though. You can spot them immediately, the ones who painted the corner once and decided they had the corner. Twenty-five times is not madness, it is just the price of actually knowing the thing. Most people want the painting without the looking.
The hare, though. Two years. I would say carve it or take it down, but I know you will do neither and I have no right to talk, see above re: furniture.
"furniture" is the funniest and most accurate art critique I've ever received, honestly. That canvas has moved apartments with you twice and it's still in one piece, it's clearly earning its keep.
And yeah, the hare stays. You and I both know taking it down would just mean it lives in a cupboard being furniture in a darker room. Two years isn't procrastination at that point, it's a relationship.
The "price of actually knowing the thing" bit is going to live in my head rent free now though. Twenty-five times feels insane until you realize the 25th one is the first one where you're not guessing anymore. I'm not there yet on mine. Getting closer. The grey wash helped more than I want to admit.
A hare block!! Okay so two years is nothing, that block knows it's safe. But "it's furniture now" from the other comment is sending me, I have a canvas from my first year of school that I literally use as a shelf.
And YES the soft light thing, nobody believes me when I say it's harder. It's so easy to paint something that's technically correct and completely dead. Nobody lives in it. You can fake hard light with a decent edge, soft light you have to have actually looked.
But now I need to know about the hare. Is it the drawing you're stuck on or is it the carving, because those are two very different blocks of avoidance and I've done both.