glued a piece of my brother's old shirt into a frame this week. not the whole shirt, just a strip where the collar had frayed through. spent three days trying to make it sit flat and then gave up and let it wrinkle. and it's the first thing in months i've finished that doesn't feel dead.

i keep doing this. i fight something for days, decide it's a failure, and then the failure is the part that works. but i can't shortcut it. i can't just decide day one to let it wrinkle, because then it's fake, it's a pose. it has to genuinely defeat me first.

anyone else have this? the thing that only works when you actually lose to it?