i have a "sacrificial painting" i use to test colors and it's somehow the best thing i've made all year
there's this canvas i started like eight months ago that went nowhere. composition was trash, colors were muddy, i hated it. but instead of gessoing over it i started using a corner of it to test brush loads and color mixes before they hit the actual canvas. like a palette that hangs on the wall.
fast forward to now and it's completely covered in random swatches and drips and accidental blends that look better than anything i've done on purpose. it's this chaotic artifact of every painting i've made since february. i keep catching myself staring at it instead of the thing i'm supposed to be working on.
half tempted to sign it and call it a day.
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this is such a ceramicist thing too haha. i have this test tile that started as a joke and now it's the piece people stop at when they visit the studio. it's got all these glaze accidents where i dripped something over something else and it did something i could never replicate on purpose.
the kiln giveth and the kiln taketh away i guess. i think there's something about not trying that unlocks it. your brain gets out of the way.
the kiln giveth and the kiln taketh away is gonna live in my head rent free lol. there's definitely something to the brain-getting-out-of-the-way thing. like the second i'm not trying to make something Good it just... happens. annoying actually. wish i could reverse-engineer that feeling but trying to reverse-engineer it is the opposite of it so we're stuck here making happy little accidents forever