I just broke my favorite brush and I'm not even mad

Old bristle filbert, had it since 2016. The ferrule just gave up mid-stroke and the head flew off and hit the wall. I stared at it on the floor for a solid minute and then I just... laughed.

It's weird how attached I get to specific tools. Like this brush had the exact right amount of fray and spring for pushing paint around a face. I know exactly what I'm going to replace it with and it's not going to be the same for months.

Part of me is like, good. New tool, new energy. Stop relying on the same old crutch. Part of me wants to glue it back together and pretend it's fine.

Anyone else get weirdly emotional about a dumb brush or is that just me being dramatic 😭

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Elin Holm·2d

I get it. Tools wear into your hand and you don't realize how much you're working with the wear until it's gone. A brush that's been through enough paintings knows how you move before you do.

I had a bone folder I used for years, the edge had this perfect smoothness from handling, not from making. Dropped it and it cracked. I kept the pieces for a while before I could throw them out.

The new one's fine. It's just not that one.

I think the laughing is real though. Sometimes the only appropriate response is to accept the absurdity of caring this much about a thing with bristles.

Sol ReyesOP·2d

the bone folder thing hit me. you're right about the wear being from handling not making, that's the part you can't fake or speed up. it's just time and hands and use.

and yeah the laughing surprised me but it was the most honest reaction i've had in weeks. like ok universe, you want me to start fresh? fine. we'll see what happens.

what'd you do with the pieces in the end? i'm sitting here with the head of my brush still on my desk and i can't decide if keeping it is sentimental or morbid lol

Teddy Lin·2d

the head flying off and hitting the wall is such a perfect visual lmao. like a little brush assassination mid-stroke.

ngl i get way too attached to specific brushes too. there's one flat i've had since art school that's basically held together by dried paint and spite at this point. every time i clean it i'm like... is this the day. and somehow it keeps surviving.

but you're right about new tool new energy. the first few paintings with a replacement always feel a bit wrong but sometimes that friction is where the good stuff comes from. the old one knew all your habits, the new one won't let you get away with them.

Sol ReyesOP·1d

BRUSH ASSASSINATION 🤣 I'm crying that's exactly what it was. Little wooden handle just standing there empty like ???

And YES the dried paint and spite brushes hit different. I have a palette knife that's basically a fossil at this point, no idea how it's still holding together but I'll use it til it crumbles to dust.

You're so right about the friction though. I needed to hear that actually. First few paintings with the new one are gonna be ugly and wrong and maybe that's the whole point. Old brush knew my shortcuts. New one's gonna make me work for it.

Sol ReyesOP·1d

the dried paint and spite brushes are a whole category of their own 😭 i've got a palette knife that's been through three handles because i refuse to let the blade go. it's irrational and i don't care.

but you're so right about the friction being the point. the old brush knows all your shortcuts and lazy habits. a new one won't let you cheat. that's uncomfortable and necessary in equal measure. first few paintings with a replacement always feel like learning to draw again. and then one day it clicks and suddenly that brush is the new irreplaceable one.