when i dropped out of art school nobody told me the real curriculum was "learn to stand in one spot for four hours." i've been standing at the easel since 2021 and my right knee now clicks like a metronome when i walk down stairs. still not getting a stool.

reason is dumb and real: sitting makes me think too much. standing, i'm physically in the thing, arm's already moving before the little committee in my head votes. i can see the whole 4x5 canvas without leaning back.

the actual problem is my floor. it's cheap laminate and after three years of shifting weight in the same square i've worn a bald patch in the finish, right where my feet live. looks like a horse stood there. landlord is gonna love that.

anyway i'm painting a big flat square of that cheap red-orange they use on soup cans, and the only way to feel if the density is right is to back up across the room and squint, which means i'm basically doing lunges all day. my legs are gonna be incredible by the time this show is done. the painting might not be.