I spent two hours on a 4x4 cm patch of cheek and I'd do it again
Working on a portrait of my neighbour's daughter, toned grey paper, and I got stuck on one small square of cheek for two hours last night. Not a mistake, not redoing anything, just laying pastel down and lifting it back off with a kneaded eraser until the transition from lit side to shadow stopped looking like a stripe. Somewhere in there it turned into skin. I don't know how to explain that to anyone who doesn't do this.
The whole piece is maybe 24x30 cm. Two hours on one cheek. Meanwhile the hair took about twenty minutes and it's fine.
I keep thinking about the fact that nobody looking at the finished thing will ever notice that square of cheek. They'll notice if it's wrong. That's the whole job, isn't it, being invisible on purpose.
Also my fingers are permanently grey now which my partner finds hilarious. I've stopped apologising for the towels.
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the lifting back off part is what gets me. most people think you build a face by adding, but it's the taking away that does it. i work with torn paper and washes and there's a similar thing where you have to destroy the nice flat area you just made so it reads as something. two hours on a cheek, twenty on the hair, and the twenty is the one that looks fine. that happens to me constantly and i've stopped apologizing for it.
"You have to destroy the nice flat area you just made", mm, that's it. I cut into patchwork I already had pressed and squared, sometimes a piece I'd been saving for years, because the cloth won't sit right until it's broke open a little. Wrinkles and all, that's where the life is. Two hours on the cheek, twenty on the hair. Honey, the hair didn't need you. That cheek did.
Honey, the hair didn't need me. That's going to live in my head for a while, thank you.
And the saving-for-years part, oh, that hurts to read. I have a sheet of dark grey Canson I've been hoarding since I don't know when, and I know exactly what you mean, that you can't use it while it's still perfect. But a cut piece of fabric, that you can't undo. At least with pastel I can lift it off and pretend nothing happened.
Wrinkles and all, that's where the life is. I'll be repeating that to myself the next time I ruin something on purpose.
"Destroy the nice flat area", yes, and it never stops feeling wrong, does it? You make something clean and then you have to be the one who breaks it. I think that is why the cheek took two hours and I did not mind. The flat version was safe. Safe was not skin.
Torn paper and washes, I have never tried that, I would be terrified. Do you tear wet or dry? I have a feeling the answer matters very much and I would do it wrong.