so there's a piece on the wall, roughly 60x48, acrylic wash over torn paper with a photo of my brother's front door glued in near the bottom left. the door is the whole reason the thing exists. it's also the part I keep sanding and re-washing and covering with another layer of grey, and every pass makes it a little more tasteful and a little more dead.

three weeks now. yesterday I stood in front of it with a wet rag and my hand actually twitched toward wiping the whole lower third out. that's the tell, isn't it. when the fix you keep reaching for is erasure.

I think the real problem isn't the door, it's that I'm scared the door alone, unworked, un-painted-over, just as it is, looks lazy. like I didn't do enough to it. and I keep adding so nobody can say that. which is a pretty expensive way to answer a critic who isn't in the room. meanwhile the piece keeps getting quieter in the bad way.

thinking about taking the photo off entirely and mounting it raw on the panel with nothing over it. which might be the piece. or might be me running from the hard part. they look identical from here at 11pm.

anyone else do this, working a thing to death so it reads as intentional?