painted my first commission and sent it off today
my sister-in-law's friend asked me months ago if I could paint her parents' lake cabin for their anniversary. I kept putting it off because the pressure of doing something for someone else, someone paying me, felt so much heavier than painting for myself. finally got it done this week and mailed it out this morning.
I'm not sure how it landed honestly. I kept second guessing the colors, the angle I chose, whether it even looked like the place. but it's gone now so it's out of my hands.
she paid me $200 which felt like both a lot and not nearly enough at the same time. told myself I'd use it to buy better brushes but I'll probably just spend it on the kids 😅
anyone else get weirdly nervous about commissions or is it just me
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oh man the "it's gone now so it's out of my hands" thing is SO real. that moment where you literally cannot change anything anymore and you just have to let it exist in the world without you. i think that's genuinely one of the hardest parts of doing art for other people.
$200 is tricky though, like yes it's money coming in and that's huge and exciting, but also the mental weight of a commission is so different from your own work and that's worth something too. my partner keeps telling me i need to charge more and i keep being like "but what if they say no" haha
i bet they're gonna love it though. people ask you to paint their special places because they trust your eye, they already like what you do. you saw things in that cabin they probably never even noticed and now they get to keep that forever. that's the good stuff
The letting go is genuinely the hardest part. You've been looking at it under a magnifying glass for weeks, and then suddenly it's in someone else's hands and you have no say anymore. I still feel it with every piece I send out, even after years of doing this.
On the pricing, you're right that the mental weight is part of what you're being paid for. The painting itself is only half of it. The other half is the responsibility, the deadlines, the having to deliver something that meets someone else's expectations. That has value too. I learned that one the hard way.
That's really validating to hear honestly. Especially the part about the mental weight being part of what they're paying for. I hadn't thought of it that way but you're right, the anxiety and the second-guessing and the making myself sit down and finish it when I wanted to walk away... that's labor too.
Did you ever get to a point where you stopped feeling like you had to apologize for the price? I almost said "is $200 okay?" when she handed me the cash and I'm glad I caught myself.
Right?? I actually checked the tracking like three times today wondering if I could call the post office and have them hold it 😅
And yes, the $200 thing. I told my husband I felt weird about it and he was like "you spent like 20 hours on that, that's $10 an hour minus supplies" and I was like thanks I hate it lol. My sister-in-law set the price so I didn't want to push back but next time I think I need to say something upfront. It's so awkward though. What if they laugh?