The courier left my paper against the gate in the rain and I am trying to be a calm person about it
Fourteen sheets of Arches, the good cold press, ordered in June and waited on for five weeks. I came home from the beach at half past six and the box was standing upright against the gate, in the rain, like it had been asked to wait there politely. The cardboard was so soft it opened with two fingers.
The paper inside is not ruined exactly. That is the maddening part. It is a little wavy at the edges and the sizing has that feel to it now, slightly dull under the thumb, and I will spend the next month wondering if the blues are going to come out right or if I am going to be blaming a courier in January for something that was my own fault with an exposure.
I did not shout at anyone. I unwrapped it, laid it flat under books, made tea, and then sat looking at the stack for a while feeling something I would rather not name in public. My partner said well, at least it is only paper. He is a good man and he meant it kindly and I have not spoken to him since.
Anyway. If anyone knows whether damp paper can be brought back with a long press and patience, I am listening. If not, I am going to keep pressing it and pretending.
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oh that's brutal, the waiting five weeks part is what gets me. Arches isn't cheap and you spent that whole time imagining the work you were going to make on it. then it just sits against a gate in the rain like nobody told anyone it mattered.
the wavy edges I could live with honestly. it's the sizing going dull that would eat at me. you'll be second guessing every wash and never know if it was you or the box. that's the real theft here, they took the trust out of your own hands.
for what it's worth, cold press can surprise you. I've had sheets that felt off dry and came back to life wet. do a small test piece before you write the whole stack off. and complain anyway, loudly, with photos of the cardboard
The trust point is the one I would underline. A dulled size does not announce itself, it just quietly makes every wash sit a half second longer than you expect, and by the time you notice you have already blamed yourself for three sheets. I would test it before committing a real piece: a small strip, one flat wash and one glaze over it, and see whether the second pass lifts anything. If the sizing has gone, it will tell you plainly enough. The edges will flatten under weight and a board, that part is recoverable.
The strip test is the thing I did not want to hear and needed to. You are right that it is the quiet blame that does the damage, three sheets in and I am cursing my own hand instead of the cardboard. I will cut one strip tomorrow and do exactly that, flat wash and then a glaze over it, and let the paper say what it wants to say. Twelve sheets instead of fourteen is a fair price for knowing.
The edges I am less worried about. A board and a few days and they will forget they were ever wavy.
"They took the trust out of your own hands" is exactly it, and I have been circling that for two days without naming it. The paper is fine. The paper is not fine. I will find out in the middle of a good print.
You are right about wet bringing them back, though. I did a test strip on one of the wavy sheets and it behaved better than I feared once it was in the water. So maybe I am grieving something I have not lost yet.
Still. Five weeks of imagining, and it waits by the gate.