Ok so I've been working on this one 9x12 of the window at 6pm, the gold hour one, and I've been through maybe eleven sheets of Arches trying to get the shadow on the sill right. Eleven. That's like $70 of paper just to learn that I keep lifting the paper when I want to lift the pigment, which, cool, great, love that for me.

Anyway the electric company sent the bill and it's up $40 and my partner was like "you've had the lamp on till 2am every night for a month" and I got defensive for a second and then remembered I also run a hair dryer over every wash because I'm impatient and can't wait for it to dry on its own like a normal person. So I'm out here basically paying to speed up my own mistakes. On my own dime. As a person with no other dime.

The thing is the window doesn't even look that different from the one I did in March and I can't tell if that's progress or if I'm just circling. I know the light changed because it's October now. I don't know if I did.

Not looking for a fix, mostly just want someone to tell me the hair dryer thing is normal because I'm starting to feel insane about it