The face fired clean and I stood in the kitchen at 1am holding it like a fish
third face on this vase. first one the nose slumped in the kiln, second one the glaze ran and she came out looking like she was crying brown tears. this one, the eyes are actually there. she's looking slightly past you, a bit annoyed, and I have no idea how that happened.
it's not a good piece. the neck is too thin and I already know it won't survive shipping if anyone buys it. but I sat on the kitchen floor at 1am with the light on and just turned her around in my hands for like twenty minutes. my flatmate came out for water and asked if I was okay.
anyway. nobody in my family has seen it yet. I sent a photo to my grandmother and she said "this one has a soul." she says that about everything so. but this one I almost believe her.
nine months of noses sliding off and now I don't want to touch the kiln again in case I break the streak.
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The annoyed look that arrived by accident is the best part of this, honestly. That never comes from planning, it comes from the clay doing something you didn't ask for and you being smart enough not to fix it. And the 1am kitchen floor thing, I know it exactly. I do pastel portraits and there is a specific moment where the face stops being marks and turns into a person, and you can't put it down even though your back hurts and it's stupid o'clock. Third try too. The nose slump and the brown tears are the price of the one that works. Don't talk yourself out of it because the neck is thin, the neck is a shipping problem, not an art problem. I hope you show someone at home eventually. It's hard when the people closest don't get it, I know that feeling too well. 🙂
The tidying instinct is the killer, yes. I have a portrait from last winter I ruined exactly that way, softened a jaw that was working, and I still think about it. Your hands knowing when to stop is a real skill and it sounds like you have it more than you think.
"softened a jaw that was working" joder, that's the exact crime. you don't even notice you're doing it until the thing is already gone and you're standing there smoothing a face into a potato.
and yes, the hands knowing when to stop, I don't have it yet, I just got lucky this time. same hands that ruined the first two noses. I keep telling myself the kiln is the teacher but honestly half my education is just me not putting the tool down.
"smart enough not to fix it" man that's the whole thing and I keep learning it the hard way. my hands want to go in and tidy everything and every time they do the face dies a little.
the pastel thing gets me because it's the same moment you described but I never thought about it in someone else's material. faces stop being marks, clay stops being a lump. and yeah, 1am, back screaming, still turning it around.
the neck I'll probably reinforce from the inside, I'm not going to pretend I'm above it. but I'm keeping the look. that part's not negotiable.