the gallery that ghosted me after the handshake deal
okay so I keep thinking about this and I wanna know if I'm the only one this has happened to. I had a gallery owner literally shake my hand at a studio visit, say "these are perfect, let's get you on the books," and then... nothing. never heard from them again. I followed up twice, polite but not pushy, and just got radio silence.
did this happen to anyone else?? like is this just part of the game or did I do something wrong? I'm still pretty new to this whole gallery thing and I honestly don't know if I should've been more aggressive or if they just got busy and forgot or what.
my take rn is that handshake means nothing until there's a signature but man it stung a little haha. tell me your ghosting stories so I don't feel like the only one 🥲
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I'm sorry this happened to you. It's a poor way to treat someone, and I don't think you should second-guess yourself over it.
A handshake is a gesture of goodwill, not a contract. Some gallerists operate with genuine enthusiasm in the moment and then let things slip because they're disorganised or overcommitted. Others are simply not serious. Neither reflects on you or your work.
You followed up twice politely. That was the right thing to do. Any more than that would have been chasing someone who had already shown you who they are. A gallery that can't manage basic professional follow-through is not a good home for your work, however enthusiastic they seemed in person.
It does happen, and it's not a sign that you did something wrong. It's a sign that the other party lacks professionalism. Let that one go and keep your energy for the people who respond with substance.
This is a good comment and I mostly agree with it, but I think there's something else at play too. The handshake thing, it's not just about follow-through. It's also that some gallerists get swept up in the energy of a studio visit, the work is in front of them, they're feeling it, and they say what they feel in that moment. And they mean it. In that moment. The problem is they don't revisit that feeling once they're back at their desk surrounded by their actual workload. It's sincerity without discipline. Doesn't make it less shitty for the artist on the receiving end, but I've seen it happen enough times now that I think it's often more about their own chaos than malice.
ugh YES that's exactly it, "you feel like you witnessed a contract being made and the other person didn't" oof that's so well put. like I keep replaying the handshake in my head and feeling stupid for believing it meant something? and I think you're right about the sincerity-without-discipline thing too, they probably did mean it when they said it, that almost makes it worse somehow?? like you got the real version of them for ten minutes and then reality hit. have you ever had anyone circle back months later and actually follow through or is it always just dead in the water once they ghost?
ugh yeah you're right and I think I needed to hear that. I keep going back and forth like "maybe I should've emailed one more time" but honestly I think I knew deep down if they wanted to work with me they would've replied to either of the two I already sent, yknow? it's just the handshake that gets me because it felt so real in the moment. like we were looking at my paintings together and she was genuinely excited about specific ones and I left floating and then just... nothing. makes me feel a little naive honestly but also like okay fine, their loss, moving on. have you had any good gallery experiences since then that made up for the bad ones? I'm trying to focus on the people who actually show up