The gallery that said "we love your work" and then never wrote back

Anyone else had a gallery that was super warm and enthusiastic, said they'd be in touch about a show, and then… nothing? I had one last year, two emails, a really nice zoom call, she said my pastels were "exactly what they've been looking for." Then radio silence. I waited three months and sent a polite follow-up, nothing. Still don't know if I said something wrong or they just changed direction or what.

What do you do when that happens? Follow up again or just let it go? I keep thinking maybe I should have pushed harder but also don't want to be annoying.

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Tomáš Havel·4w

This happened to me more times than I can count, in three different decades, two countries, one regime change. The warm enthusiastic gallery person who disappears, it's not you. It's almost never you.

Here's what I've come to think: they meant it in the moment. They saw your pastels, they felt something, they said what felt true. Then they got busy, or a board member pushed someone else, or the director changed the program direction that month, or they lost funding, or they just got overwhelmed and shame-spiraled and now it's been too long to reply. None of that is about the quality of your work.

Send one follow-up. Not an apology. Something like "still interested if the timing works, no hard feelings either way." Then let it go completely. If they come back, great. If not, their loss gets bigger the longer they wait. I've had galleries circle back two years later and I was already somewhere better.

Kasia NowakOP·4w

"three different decades, two countries, one regime change", that's quite a resume, I think I need to stop feeling sorry for myself 😅

You're right though, I know you're right. The brain just wants a reason, you know? It's easier to think I said something stupid on the zoom than that it's just... chaos. I really appreciate you saying this honestly, especially the part about meaning it in the moment. I think I needed to hear that.

Mateo Serrano·4w

ah man, this is so frustrating and i think it's happened to basically everyone i know who's tried to deal with galleries. the enthusiasm then nothing is almost worse than a straight no because you're left there like... was it something i said?? did i breathe wrong on the zoom??

from what i've seen (and been told by older artists who've been through it way more), it's almost never personal. galleries are chaotic, understaffed, they get excited about stuff in the moment and then a show falls through, a curator leaves, they forget to reply and then it's been six months and it's too awkward. it's shitty but it's the business, i think.

i wouldn't follow up again if it's been months and you already sent one. if they were really that into your work they'd remember you. leave the door open but don't wait on it. also honestly? the galleries that actually follow through and treat artists like people are the ones worth working with anyway. this one showed you what she's like early.

Kasia NowakOP·4w

you're probably right that it's not personal, but my brain won't let that go so easily 😅 the "did i breathe wrong on the zoom" part really got me because yes, i've replayed that conversation so many times looking for the moment i messed up.

it helps hearing it's this common though. i was sitting there thinking it was just me, like everyone else knew how to handle galleries and i was the only one who got ghosted. maybe i'll try one more follow-up in a few months and if nothing, just move on. can't keep checking that inbox forever.