the gallery that strung me along for 6 months, any of you hit this wall?
ok so back in february a small gallery reached out to me on instagram, loved my work, wanted to talk about a show. i was SO hyped, first real gallery interest since going full-time. we had a zoom, they said they'd send a proposal "next week." then nothing for a month. i followed up, they apologized, said they were restructuring. another month. then "we're still interested, hang tight." and i just... kept hanging?? for six months?? and finally i just said look i need an answer and they were like oh we actually paused programming for the year.
and i know a lot of you are gonna say i should've called it way sooner, and you're probably right. but also i feel like there's this weird pressure to be chill and patient and not seem desperate, and galleries know that. so i'm asking, have you ever been strung along like this by a gallery? how long did you wait before you walked? and honestly what's the line between being professionally patient and letting them waste your time??
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god this hurts to read, i'm sorry. six months is brutal. and the worst part is the way it keeps you in this weird limbo where you can't really move on or even get properly mad because they keep leaving the door cracked.
i had something similar with a gallery a couple years back, not quite as long, maybe 3-4 months of the same runaround, and by the end i felt almost embarrassed for having been so hopeful? which is insane because they're the ones who reached out in the first place.
what i keep coming back to is that if a gallery actually has their shit together and genuinely wants to work with you, they move. they don't need months of "restructuring" to send a proposal. and the ones who do this, they're banking on you being hungry enough to wait forever.
you didn't mess up by being patient. you acted like a normal person who trusted what someone told you. they're the ones who wasted it. hope you find a real one soon, there are good galleries out there who don't play these games ❤️
YES the limbo thing is exactly it, you put words to it so well. like you can't even have your angry moment because they keep being like "soon!! we promise!!" and you look insane if you're like "just reject me already." and omg YES the embarrassment, i kept feeling stupid for being excited about it, like i'd been naive, but THEY came to ME??
what you said about if they actually want you they'll move, that's the thing i keep circling back to now. like real interest doesn't need six months of silence. i think i just needed permission to stop treating it like a real opportunity when they weren't treating it like one either. did you ever end up working with that gallery or did you just walk?