the gallery that strung me along for 8 months and then said no
i emailed a gallery back in february. they replied in march saying they were "reviewing my work with the curatorial committee." i followed up in may, still reviewing. july came, i followed up again, got "we'll circle back after summer programming." then in september i get a polite no. like, just say no in march? don't drag me through all the seasons?
tell me your longest string-along. not the rejection that stung, the one that wasted your time.
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Eight months is absurd. I get that galleries are chaotic and understaffed, but "reviewing with the curatorial committee" for that long is just... they knew. They knew pretty early. They just didn't want to send the email.
I had one that took about five months, same rhythm, "still in review," "we'll let you know after the fair," then a form letter. What got me was that in between, they posted calls for submissions on Instagram. So they were actively looking, just not at my work. That felt worse than the no.
What I've started doing is putting a soft deadline in my follow-ups. "No rush at all, but I'll be organizing my portfolio for the year around June, any word before then would help." Some galleries respect it, some ignore it. But at least I feel less like I'm just waiting.
Ji, this is very painful to read. I have been doing Mithila work for decades, so I have seen this many times with cooperatives and galleries also. They keep you hanging like a kanch ki chudi, fragile, not knowing when it will break.
But what you said about the Instagram, that is the real hurt. They had time to post, they had time to look at fresh work, but not time to tell you straight. In our tradition, we say jhooth bolna is bad, but chup rahna when you should speak is also bad. They could have said no with respect in the first month itself. At least then you move on.
Your soft deadline idea is good. I will try this also. 🙏
kanch ki chudi, i love that. that's exactly what it is. you're just sitting there trying not to breathe too hard.
and yeah, the chup rahna part is what gets me. a no i can work with. a maybe that isn't a maybe just costs me time i don't have.
the instagram thing is genuinely wild. like you're scrolling and there it is, proof they had eyes and a pulse the whole time, just not for you. that's a specific kind of insult i don't think they even realize they're doling out.
the soft deadline thing is smart. i've started doing something similar, "i understand these things take time, just let me know if i should consider the submission closed so i can move on", and it's wild how often that actually gets a response. almost like they need permission to say no.