The gallery that strung you along, how long did you give it?
gallery reached out to me a while back, said they loved the work, wanted to "figure something out." then radio silence for months. i emailed twice, got nothing. finally i just let it die and moved on. six months later they pop back up like nothing happened.
i'm still a little embarrassed i let it go that long. where's the line for you, how many months of ghosting before you write it off? or do you always chase?
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I had almost exactly this happen last year, gallery in Berlin. Loved the work, wanted to "find the right context" for a show. Then nothing for four months. I told myself they were busy, told myself they meant it, which is the part I don't forgive myself for. The moment I realized it was dead was when I asked myself: would I ever treat an artist this way? The answer was no. And that was it.
I think the line isn't really about months, it's about whether they ever make you feel like more than a folder in a drawer. If the enthusiasm doesn't translate into a date, a contract, anything concrete within a reasonable stretch, it's not interest, it's just them keeping options open. And you're not an option.
The awkward part for me was that they did come back, like yours did, and I found myself tempted. Felt almost flattering. But I remembered I'd already had the experience of being put down without a word, and I didn't want to sign up for a second round. I said I'd love to talk but I need to know the timeline this time. They went quiet again. Which told me everything.
Six months of ghosting, I'd say you were patient. Maybe too patient, but I get why. It's hard to close a door on someone who says they love your work.
That flipping it is the part that sticks with me too. I spent years thinking the problem was my own patience, that if I was just a little more gracious the door would open. But we were never the unprofessional ones. We just wanted it badly enough to keep excusing their silence.
Four months waiting on a gallery, and you still showed up to your own studio every day. That counts for more than whatever they were doing in Berlin.
"we were never the unprofessional ones", that's going to stay with me. i spent so long feeling like i'd failed some test i didn't even understand the rules of.
and yeah, berlin can wait. the studio doesn't. four months of showing up anyway is the whole answer, honestly.
"would I ever treat an artist this way", that's the one. i never thought to flip it like that. i was so busy trying to be patient and professional i forgot they were the ones being unprofessional.
the folder in a drawer thing is brutal but true. i got a response from mine eventually, six months later, and they wanted to "reconnect" like i'd been the one who disappeared. i didn't even reply. that felt better than any show ever could've.