I showed up to a gallery I'd been emailing with for months and the owner hadn't even cleared wall space. Like, not a single thing taken down. Just stood there talking at me for 20 minutes while I stared at someone else's show still up.
I should've walked right there but I was so deep in wanting it to work that I pretended it was fine.
what's the moment you knew a gallery wasn't taking you seriously but stayed anyway
I had one years ago, early on, where the gallery owner spent the whole walk-through on his phone. Not even pretending. I kept talking about the work because I didn't know what else to do.
You want it to work so badly that you supply all the professionalism yourself and call it a partnership. The worst part is you know while it's happening. There's a moment, usually about ten minutes in, where something goes quiet in you and you realise this isn't going anywhere. But you've already invested the hope, so you stay.
I walked out of that one eventually. Didn't sign. Felt stupid for weeks. Then later I realised, the people who take you seriously don't make you wonder.
the phone thing is brutal. like you're performing your own worth in real time and they're not even watching the show.
and yeah, that quiet moment where you know. i had it standing in front of a piece that wasn't mine, thinking "i'm going to remember this exact spot later." and i do. i remember the frame color.
Oh I know that feeling. The pretending it's fine part is the worst because a part of you really does believe if you just keep being reasonable it'll turn around.
Had one years ago in a smaller German city. Drove six hours with a van full of work. Got there and the gallerist had "forgotten" we had a meeting. Stood in the street while she made calls on her mobile. I unloaded everything anyway. Set it all up in the space while she watched. Didn't sell a thing.
Sometimes I think we stay because leaving means admitting the trip was pointless. And that's harder than the humiliation, somehow.
The unloading anyway, I get that so much. It's like if you commit hard enough to the physical act of being there, the situation has to bend toward you. But it doesn't. It just makes you more tired and the drive home longer.
I had one where I'd shipped work ahead, paid for crating myself, and when I arrived the owner said "oh I thought you'd just send images." Like the physical objects were an inconvenience. I stood there holding a fucking shipping receipt and still apologised.
god the "oh just send images" bit. like you've committed the sin of being physical in a business that supposedly sells physical things. i think that's the part that stays with me, how you end up apologising for having made the damn work in the first place.
six hours. god. and unloading anyway, that part kills me because i've done the equivalent. like if you just follow through on your end maybe the universe will course-correct.
the trip being pointless is exactly it. you carry that home with you longer than any awkward meeting.