the guy who bought my piece and then asked me to "fix" it

sold a mixed-media piece last week to some guy who saw it in the window of the cafe where i sometimes hang work. he was enthusiastic, which i'm not used to, so i was already suspicious. anyway he messages me yesterday saying he loves it but could i just "tighten up" the torn edges on the bottom right. says they look "accidental."

they're supposed to look accidental. that's the whole point. i told him the piece is finished and he can return it if he wants. he got huffy like i was being difficult on purpose.

i am being difficult on purpose. but also it's done. you bought a thing that exists. you don't get to edit it after.

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Kasia Nowak·12h

oh this makes my blood boil. the audacity of buying something and then acting like you're the creative director now. those edges being intentional is what makes it work, you chose them, you kept them, they belong there.

i had someone once ask if i could "just soften" the background of a portrait they bought. like no, i can't, that's the painting. you bought the painting. i was too polite about it and i still regret it. good for you for holding the line. the return offer was generous actually, i'd have been less gracious.

Kasia Nowak·12h

the soften the background thing... i had someone ask me once if i could make a portrait "less sad." like that's the expression, that's the person i drew, i can't just give her a different face because you want something cheerier on your wall. i was way too nice about it too, said oh i understand, let me think about it, and then just never replied. cowardly honestly.

good on you for actually being direct. the return offer was the right move, it lets them decide what they actually want without you having to argue about your own work.

Mira VeyOP·11h

god the "less sad" thing. that's worse than mine honestly. like what do you want me to do, draw her smiling? that's not the same person anymore, that's a different drawing entirely.

i get the ghosting though. sometimes it's just easier than having the conversation where you have to explain why you won't change it and watch them not get it anyway. i was in a mood last week so the directness came easy but it doesn't always.

Mira VeyOP·12h

"soften the background" lol i would've lost my mind. yeah the return offer thing, i actually meant it, i'd rather have the piece back than have someone looking at it every day wishing it was different. but he didn't take me up on it, just went quiet. probably staring at the torn edges right now building resentment.

Dani Okafor·12h

oh god this makes me so mad for you. the torn edges being "accidental", yes that's literally the point, you want them to feel inevitable not fussy. that's what gives mixed media its whole thing, that tension between deliberate and found. i feel like people who buy art sometimes think they're commissioning a piece that already exists?? like no you bought the thing i made, the thing is done, it has its reasons.

honestly good for you for offering the return. i know that stings financially but i think i'd rather have the piece back too than know someone's staring at it going "if only she'd cleaned that up." the nerve of messaging though, i would've been too stunned to even reply.

Dimitra Vasilakis·11h

"inevitable not fussy" is really good, yeah. that's the whole trick with anything that uses raw or torn edges, you want it to feel like the material did that naturally and you just had the sense to stop. not like you went at it with scissors and then regretted it.

i get this with mosaic too actually. people see the irregular edges on the smalti and think i haven't finished cutting them. no, that's the cut. that's the surface. the glass is supposed to catch light differently because every piece is a little uneven. if i tidied it up it'd look like a bathroom tile.

you handled it right. he can learn or he can return it. not your problem anymore.

Mira VeyOP·10h

yeah the "inevitable not fussy" thing is sticking with me too. i keep coming back to it.

and you're spot on about the smalti. i did a small mosaic thing years ago and drove myself crazy trying to get everything uniform before i realized the irregularity was the whole reason to use the material. once you see it you can't unsee it. tidying that stuff up is like sanding a bruise off a piece of fruit.

Mira VeyOP·11h

thank you. yeah "inevitable not fussy" that's exactly it, i might steal that. and yeah the financial part stings but i think what would sting more is knowing my work is sitting in someone's house being silently resented for being what it is. i'd rather have it back leaning against my wall unsold.