the man who asked if he could "commission me something small" and then described my entire next month

Guy messaged me yesterday, real polite, "could I commission something small?" and I was like sure! love that. Then he sent me a paragraph. A full paragraph. He wants a 60x80cm painting (small?? that's huge), of his dog, in a specific palette he described down to the hex codes, framed, delivered, in time for his wife's birthday which is in three weeks. And the kicker, after all that, "obviously I was thinking a few hundred, that's fair right."

I did the math on the hours alone and I almost laughed out loud. That's about minimum wage before materials. And he's framed it as this flattering opportunity, like I should be grateful he's picked ME. I told him my rate for that size and timeline and he went quiet. Haven't heard back. Cool. Cool cool cool.

I think the thing that gets me is people genuinely don't see the labor. They see watercolor, they think it's quick, it's just water, right? They don't know the paper prep and the masking and the waiting for layers to dry and the redoing the whole wash when it blooms wrong at the last second. My partner watched me spend four hours on an 8 inch square today and was like "babe are you okay" and I was like no but the light on the jug is FINALLY doing what I want.

Anyway. If one more person asks me to do it "as a favour" I'm going to paint them a single potato and charge them for the privilege.

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8 comments

Ramesh Jha·9h

People do not think of the hours, ji. They see a painting and they think it is a nice thing that appears, like a flower. They do not see the days of work behind it.

I understand this commission talk very well. In my own work also, many times someone comes and says "just a small one" and then they want a big canvas with many details and natural colours which take time to prepare also, and they want it by a festival date. And the amount they offer, it would not even buy the good paper and the pigment properly.

Three weeks for that size, and for a dog portrait? The fur alone, if you are doing it with care, it is many days. He is asking for minimum wage and your whole month. You were right to laugh. Politely tell him what the real price is, and if he is serious he will pay it. If not, it is better the time goes to work that values you.

Ramesh Jha·8h

You have said it very well, ji. That is exactly the thinking. They measure by the paint in the tin, not by the hands and the days. And the natural colours, you are right, they take time even before a single line goes on the paper. Grinding, mixing, letting it settle. That work is invisible to them.

And generally the one who asks for the cheapest is also the one who wants the most detail. I have seen it so many times. The small thing is never small.

Dani OkaforOP·7h

"the paint in the tin, not the hands and the days" okay that's going straight into my saved folder because that's exactly it. And yeah the invisible work is the whole thing. People see the finished painting and they don't see the three setups I did and scraped, the color tests, the days of staring at a half-done wash waiting for it to dry before I can touch it again. That's not nothing, that's the actual craft.

And honestly the "small thing is never small" bit is so real. I've never once had a small commission actually be small. It's always small in their head because they don't know what the work takes. It's like asking for "a quick favor" that turns into a whole weekend.

Dani OkaforOP·8h

"like a flower" is genuinely the nicest way anyone's ever described the problem haha. And yeah, the timing thing is the part that kills me, it's never "take your time, I want it to be good," it's always "oh and I need it by the 14th for [important occasion]." As if the pressure makes it MORE appealing somehow. What do you paint mostly, out of curiosity? The natural pigments thing really stood out to me.

Niall Doherty·9h

The hex codes. That's the bit that'd finish me off entirely. Fair play to him for the enthusiasm but sure he's not commissioning a painting, he's ordering off a menu.

I get a version of this all the time in print. "Something small" and they mean a 60x80 too, or they want thirty prints hand-carved and pulled by Thursday week. The few hundred line is the one that gets me though, "that's fair right" as if he's doing YOU the favour by saying a number that low out loud. Sure someone's getting the fair end of it and it isn't you.

The dog'll be lovely, I've no doubt. Shame about the wife's birthday. Hope she likes a card.

Margaret Hsu·8h

The "that's fair right" is doing a great deal of heavy lifting in that sentence. It's the part I find most telling, because it suggests he genuinely believes he's being generous. That's harder to be angry at than the person who knows exactly what they're doing and hopes you won't notice.

I've had the same conversation more times than I care to count, though ours usually comes with a botanical specimen attached. People want the accuracy of a scientific plate and the turnaround of a quick sketch. The few hundred line always arrives with the same confidence, too, as if naming the price is the act of kindness and the actual number is incidental.

I do hope he finds someone. And I hope the wife likes the dog, because she'll be looking at it for a good long while.

Dani OkaforOP·6h

"the paint in the tin, not the hands and the days" yes that's exactly it, I'm stealing that framing forever now haha. And I think that's the part that gets me the most, is he's not even being stingy on purpose, he legitimately thinks he's being reasonable. Which somehow makes it worse? Because you can't even be properly mad, you just have to explain that the hours are the product, not the pigment, and watch them deflate a little.

Your botanical thing sounds like its own saga honestly, the accuracy of a scientific plate AND the speed of a sketch is such a specific kind of delusion. Do people ever understand when you walk them through the time on it, or do they just do the sad little "oh, I didn't realize" and then quietly never respond again?

Dani OkaforOP·8h

"ordering off a menu" is EXACTLY it, that's the phrase. He's not commissioning art, he's putting in an order with customizations. And yeah the few hundred line, I don't think he even knows how insulting it is, he genuinely thinks he's being generous. Which honestly makes it worse somehow lol

Also thank you for getting the hand-pulled print thing, people NEVER get how much that work is. Thirty prints carved and pulled by Thursday, sure, and also I have a body and it needs to sleep sometimes.

The dog will be gorgeous and his wife will cry and he'll never know I basically worked for the price of the paint. Anyway. We keep making the work because we love it, even when the math is criminal. What kind of carving do you do, linocut or wood?