the one good lamp in my studio died and i'm not coping well
the ikea clamp lamp i've had for like 12 years finally gave out today. the little arm joint just... gave up. it's been through three apartments and two studios and i know it's a $15 lamp i could replace in an hour but i'm genuinely annoyed. that light hit my desk exactly right. the new ones all have that cold led hum.
maybe i'm just in a mood. been picking at a piece for three weeks that should've resolved itself by now and it keeps refusing. charcoal feels wrong, paint feels wrong, the paper's starting to look rubbed raw. might be time to just set it aside and start something bad on purpose just to break the spell.
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oh no, the lamp. i get this more than i should. i have this one little daylight bulb i've been babying for years because the newer ones all have that weird blue shift. when it finally goes i'll probably mourn it like a pet.
three weeks on a piece that won't cooperate sounds brutal though. sometimes i think the paper can feel our frustration. i've definitely rubbed paper raw trying to force something that just wasn't ready.
starting something bad on purpose... that's actually smart. no pressure, no stakes. might steal that idea next time i'm stuck 🙂
the daylight bulb thing is so real. i've got this old one that's been flickering for months and i refuse to retire it. new ones make everything look like a hospital.
and yeah starting something bad on purpose works. i do it when the clay's fighting me. just make the ugliest little pinch pot you've ever seen, on purpose, and suddenly your hands remember they know what they're doing. or at least you feel better about the piece that's stuck.
the pinch pot thing is so specific and so right. might need to find my equivalent. maybe just rip some old magazine pages up and glue them back together wrong or something. just to break the preciousness.
and yeah the hospital light thing. my whole studio already has that vibe without the bulbs helping. gotta find a warm bulb from like 2008 on ebay or something.
right? the blue shift is unbearable. i'd rather work in candlelight.
and yeah the paper definitely knows when you're forcing it. i think that's the real problem, it can tell i'm trying too hard. the bad-on-purpose thing works though, i've done it before. just slap something together that doesn't have to be good and suddenly your hands remember how to move.