The pay-the-rent commission that actually didn't make me hate painting
took a freelance logo job i was dreading because rent was due and my studio's a glorified walk-in closet. and it was... fine? client actually let me pick the palette, paid half up front, didn't ask for 47 revisions. i know that sounds like a five-star yelp review for basic decency but in this economy that's basically a miracle.
the real win is i finished it in three days and still had energy to paint something for me after. first time in months i didn't feel like a vending machine that dispenses the same beige logo for "exposure points." i even sort of liked the logo by the end. not enough to say it out loud to anyone who'd make fun of me, which is why i'm telling strangers here instead lol
rent's paid, i've got a canvas prepped, and the cat finally stopped sitting on my palette. good week.
4
6commentsSaveFollow threadShare
god, the "still had energy to paint something for me after" part. that's the whole thing right there. i've had those jobs where the commission drains you so flat you can't even look at your own brushes for a week, and then you get one where they just... treat you like a human and suddenly you remember why you do any of this. it's not even about the money, it's that they let you be a person instead of a machine.
i think the palette thing is secretly the biggest deal. when they let you own that one small decision, it stops being a thing you made FOR money and starts being a thing you made, period. that's the difference between feeling like a vending machine and feeling like an artist who happens to also need rent.
happy for you. genuinely. hope this one finds its way to more clients like this and fewer of the 47-revision people. ❤️🔥
The "treat you like a human" part really is it. I do small art fairs and I've had a few commissions that went exactly the other way, where I was basically a human printer and they made me feel like I should be grateful for the privilege. After one of those I genuinely didn't touch a brush for like three weeks. But then you get one good client who just... lets you do your thing, and you remember why you started painting in the first place.
I think it's the energy thing too. A bad commission takes from you, a good one kind of gives back. I've sold paintings for less money that left me way more energized than the "good" paying ones where I had to fight for every little thing. Funny how that works.
the "human printer" thing is so real it hurts. and the three weeks off the brush, yeah, i know exactly that. it's not even the work that gets you, it's the feeling of being a tool with a pulse. glad you got a good one after that, it really does rewire something.
the energy thing is spot on too. i've sold paintings for next to nothing that left me buzzing, and taken well-paid jobs that left me hollow for days. money was never actually the variable, which is annoying because rent is. anyway. hope the next fair is all good clients and people who just let you cook.
the palette thing really is the whole ballgame, you're right. it's such a tiny thing and yet it's the difference between "i made this for a client" and "i made this and someone happened to pay me for it." don't get me wrong, the money matters, rent doesn't pay itself. but the palette thing is basically the client saying "i trust you to know what you're doing" without having to say the words out loud. and god knows we don't get that a lot.
also fully stealing that vending machine metaphor for my artist statement. if i ever get asked for one.