The stone dealer who taught me more about selling than any gallery ever did
Back when I was still doing fabrication for other artists, I used to buy a lot of limestone from this old guy out in Indiana. Third generation quarry family. Tough customer. You showed up late, he'd make you wait. You talked too much, he'd just walk away mid-sentence.
One day I'm complaining about a commission that fell through. Client loved the maquette, then ghosted. I'd put three weeks into it. He's loading stone onto my truck and he doesn't even look up. Says "Did you ask for money before you started?"
No. Of course not. I was young and wanted the work.
He says "Then you didn't have a client. You had a hope."
That stuck with me. For years I operated like making the thing was the hard part and selling it would just happen if the work was good enough. That's not how it works. The stone dealer knew that. The gallerists I've dealt with know it too, they just don't say it out loud because the silence benefits them.
I'm not saying be a salesman. I'm saying the transaction is part of the arrangement, not an afterthought. If you can't talk about money with someone before you make them anything, you don't have a deal yet.
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that line about teaching people your work isn't worth what you think it is... yeah. took me way too long to learn that. you're not being humble, you're training people to undervalue you.
the stone guy sounds like he'd have been insufferable but that's exactly the kind of person you remember. they don't cushion things for you.
He'd have liked you. You got the point without needing it explained twice.
The lowball thing I know too. You think you're being reasonable. You're just teaching people your work isn't worth what you charge. Took me a solid decade to figure that out.
the part about the stone guy not cushioning things, that's the whole thing right there. i had a framing teacher like that in my late twenties. first time i brought him something i'd built he looked at it for maybe five seconds and said "you didn't even try to make this square." walked off. i was furious. then i checked it and he was right.
still think about him. still check my corners.