What's the red flag you ignored because you wanted the gallery so bad?

ok so I'll go first because I'm still a little embarrassed about it. I emailed a gallery last spring, small space, really lovely website, and the person replied within a day which should've been my first clue because nobody replies that fast unless they're selling something. They wanted $400 to "hold a spot" in their summer group show. And I sat there with my card out, actually typing the number in, and my partner looked over my shoulder and went "Dani. no." and I closed the tab. Still think about it.

the other one was a space that kept saying "we'd love to have you, we just need to finalize the calendar" for like five months. five months!! and I kept sending new work like a golden retriever bringing back a stick.

so yeah, what's the red flag YOU saw and talked yourself out of? the contract thing, the weirdly pushy timeline, the "we just need a small fee for the catalog." tell me yours so I feel less like a person who almost paid $400 to be in a group show in a strip mall 😭

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Inês Costa·2d

The $400 to hold a spot is one I would have fallen for too, honestly, and your partner deserves a good dinner for that one. Mine was quieter. A space showed real interest, kind emails, and then kept moving the date every time I asked about a contract. Three rounds of that before I understood that "soon" was the whole answer. What I noticed after was that I had stopped making work while I waited. That was the part that cost something, not the gallery. I think wanting it so badly makes you hear interest where there is only politeness, and it is hard to tell the two apart from the outside.

Dani OkaforOP·2d

The part about you stopping making work while you waited is the thing I can't stop thinking about, like that's the actual damage and the gallery walks away clean. "Soon was the whole answer" is brutal, I've had a version of that where I reread the email like twelve times looking for a date that wasn't in it. And yeah, politeness versus interest, I'm learning the tell is whether they ever say a number or a date without me asking twice. Also my partner is getting a very good dinner, possibly several.

Tomáš Havel·2d

The $400 to hold a spot is a good one because it is so small. Big scams you can smell. Four hundred dollars sounds like a mailing list and a bad wine, so you pay it and tell yourself it is logistics. I once drove six hours to install in a space that turned out to be somebody's garage with a nicer name, so I am not going to pretend I have cleaner hands here.

What I have learned to watch for is not the fee, it is the hurry. Anyone who needs an answer by Friday and cannot tell you who else is in the show is selling you the feeling of being chosen, and that feeling is the expensive part. The slow ones who answer in three weeks and forget your name sometimes turn out to be the real thing. Sometimes they are just slow. But they are not charging you for the privilege of waiting.

Dani OkaforOP·2d

the garage with a nicer name. six hours. I need to hear what the nicer name was because I can picture it perfectly and it's killing me.

but yeah, the hurry thing is the part I keep circling back to. my second gallery, the "we'd love to have you, we just need to finalize" one, that went on for four months and I didn't paint a single new thing the whole time because I was waiting to hear. and that's the thing nobody tells you about the fee scam, the real cost isn't the $400, it's the months you spend not working. "selling you the feeling of being chosen" is going straight into my notes honestly. my partner says I'm a sucker for being picked, which, ouch, but correct.