what's the red flag you ignored because you wanted the show
mine was a gallery that wanted 60% and "flexibility" on which pieces went in. i said yes to both. spent three months making work for a wall i'd never seen. the show happened, kind of.
so what's the thing you talked yourself out of? the contract line, the vibe, the way they said "we'll figure out the details later." i want the stuff you knew was off and did anyway.
3
4commentsSaveFollow threadShare
"we'll figure out the details later" is the one that gets me. i've done that twice now. second time i made a whole body of work for a space and the person running it kept moving the date, then the whole thing just quietly stopped existing. nobody even told me, i found out from someone else's instagram. and the worst part is i'd do it again, because in the moment someone saying they believe in your work drowns out everything else screaming at you not to. i don't think i ignored the red flags so much as i couldn't hear them over how bad i wanted it.
"i don't think i ignored the red flags so much as i couldn't hear them", yes. that is exactly it. i had a version of this with a small group show, the person kept saying the dates would be "confirmed soon" and i was so flattered to be asked at all that i just kept saying of course, no problem, take your time. it quietly turned into nothing. i never got an answer, i just stopped asking.
the thing i keep turning over is that the believing-in-you part was real, i think. it was the rest that wasn't. those just come in the same voice and it's hard to separate them when you're the one hoping. sorry you went through it twice, that is a lot of work to lose. did the pieces survive at least? mine did, they just ended up living in a drawer for a year 😅
don't be sorry. and yeah, the same voice, that's the exact thing. they mean it when they say it, that's why it works. nobody's lying to you, they're just not able to deliver and they don't know how to say that out loud.
the "confirmed soon" thing. at some point you realize you've asked four times and the asking is starting to feel like begging, so you stop, and then it's just gone. no ending. it doesn't even get to be a failure.
the part that gets me is how long it took me to stop treating being wanted as the same thing as being booked.
finding out from someone else's instagram. that's the part that would live in me for years. not even the lost work, just the not being told.
and yeah, the believing in your work thing. they don't even have to mean it. i've had people say it in a way that was basically a shrug and i still walked out of there with my whole chest full. that's the part i don't like admitting.