A 16×20 charcoal portrait, 22 hours, and I charged $180 because she was my aunt's friend

Sold a 16x20 charcoal portrait this week for $180 and I finally did the math I've been avoiding for years. 22 hours on it. That's $8.18 an hour and I'm honestly embarrassed I typed that out.

The worst part is I knew better. She was my aunt's friend so I did the "family discount" thing before she even asked. Aunt's friend, not even family. I gave away money nobody asked me to give away.

I keep doing this. I price from fear. Fear that if I say $400 she'll say no and I'll have wasted the charcoal. But I already spent the hours. The hours are spent either way.

I'm not mad at her. I'm mad that I can't seem to stop being the one who underprices myself before anyone else gets the chance to do it. Every single time. Like I'm pre-emptively apologizing for being worth something.

Gonna sit with $8.18 for a while and try to actually feel it instead of just doing the math again next time and doing the same thing.

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6 comments

Ramesh Jha·1h

This pricing-from-fear thing, I know it well ji. In my work also, people think because it is a village art, it should come cheap, and we of Madhubani have been giving it away for so long that now people expect it. My own mother used to say the hardest line to draw is the one on the paper. The one on the price is harder.

But here is what I have learned in my years. When you charge less, they value it less. The aunt's friend will hang your portrait and tell people she got a good deal, and nobody thinks high of something that was cheap. But charge properly, and the same person will tell everyone how much the artist is in demand. The price is not about the money only. It is about respect for the hours.

Twenty-two hours is not small ji. That is nearly three full days of a person's life. You cannot give that away and then feel light in your heart. Next time, let the charcoal sit. Let the price stand. If she says no, she says no, and you have lost nothing but a moment of discomfort. But if she says yes, you have your respect and the money both.

May your next portrait bring you the price your hand deserves. 🙏

Tomáš Havel·26m

That last point about when you charge less they value it less, that's not just about money. That's the whole thing. I've watched people walk through my rooms and touch nothing, barely look, because the work was cheap to make or free to see. Then the same people stand two meters back from something behind a rope like it's a relic. The frame does half the seeing.

I've sold pieces for almost nothing and watched them get tossed in a garage within a year. The ones people paid properly for, they still write me about them. They live with those differently.

Your mother was a wise woman. The price is the hardest line to draw, yes. But also the most honest one. It tells them what you think it's worth. If you don't believe it, why would they.

Sol ReyesOP·8m

The garage thing, yeah. That one lives with me more than any of the money math. I've got pieces I poured myself into hanging in people's spare rooms like wallpaper, and I know exactly which ones they are. You can't unknow where your work ended up.

And the rope thing is so real it hurts. It's not even about the art being better behind glass. It's about what the person paid to feel. When they've invested, they look different. They lean in. The price teaches them how to see it.

Your mum knew what she was talking about. Mine would've told me the same if she was in a place to, and I wish I'd listened sooner.

Sol ReyesOP·4m

ji, that "hardest line is on the price" thing is going to stay with me. that's the whole battle right there, every single time.

and you're so right about the valuing part. that's what stings more than the money honestly. i've seen it, i've watched someone hang a cheap piece somewhere low and never look at it again, and i've watched someone frame a piece they paid real money for and treat it like it matters. the price is part of the respect cycle. we're not just giving away hours, we're teaching people our work is worth nothing.

Madhubani is beautiful work, ji. don't let anyone cheap you out of it. we should both stop being the ones who price ourselves out of respect before anyone even asks. ❤️🔥

Mateo Serrano·1h

the "i already spent the hours" thing is the trap though, no? the hours are spent either way, but that's exactly when you're negotiating from the weakest spot. you're selling the finished thing, not the past you. and the aunt's friend doesn't know or care how long it took you, she just knows a price.

i had the same problem for ages. sold a big hand-built piece for basically the cost of clay because the person was "a friend of a friend" and i felt weird asking for real money. then i watched them two weeks later post it on instagram and get like 200 likes and i was the one who priced it like a hobby. nobody asked me to do that. i did it to myself.

the only thing that broke it for me was deciding my base rate before anyone asks, writing it down, and treating it like it's the price of the clay itself. not negotiable, not personal. if they say no, they say no. the piece still exists, you can still sell it to someone else.

you're not mad at her, you're right. but be a little mad at past you, it helps. next one, quote the number first before the guilt kicks in.

Sol ReyesOP·40m

ok yeah, you're right, and it's annoying that you're right. the sunk cost thing tricks you into thinking the work is worth less because it's "done" and you need to offload it. but the finished piece is worth what it's worth regardless of my 22 hours or my fear.

the instagram thing though, that stings through the screen. watching someone enjoy the thing at full value after you priced yourself down to nothing. that's the part that keeps me up, not the money itself. it's knowing I carried the value in my hands and handed it over for less than my hourly dignity. that's the real loss.

you're selling the finished thing, not the past you, I'm writing that on a sticky note and putting it on the wall where I keep my prices. thank you for this. seriously.