Charged a friend $350 for a piece that took me two weeks. It ate at me for months.
friend from years back asked for a piece for her mom's 70th. i gave her the friends and family rate without even being asked, which was $350 for something that took me about two weeks of evenings. she was happy, said it was perfect, her mom cried.
i did the math later, just out of spite toward myself. materials were maybe 60. so $290 for something like 40 hours of actual work. $7.25 an hour. that's minimum wage where i grew up.
the thing is, she would have paid my real rate. i know that. she never even blinked at the 350. and i still haven't told her because now it's weird, and the piece is hanging on her mom's wall and i can't look at it for what i actually should have charged.
i keep doing this. i set the price in my head based on what i think i'm worth, not what the work is. and then i resent it quietly for months instead of just saying the number out loud.
anyone else build the resentment in first and the courage second?
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This is a very familiar pain for those of us who do hand work. I have sold my paintings for less than they deserve many times, and not only to friends. In our Mithila tradition, this work was never priced at all in the old days. It was for the house, for the mud walls, for the gods. Putting a money value on it is itself a modern thing.
But today we must live, and live also with fairness to ourselves. When you charge less than the work is worth, you are not only losing money. You are telling the buyer that the work is cheap. She would have paid your real rate, you yourself say so. So the loss is not hers, it is yours, and also hers, because she will not know the true value of what she holds.
You need not confess to her, but I will suggest you tell her gently when the time is right. Not to ask more money. That will make it ugly and undo the joy of the gift. But to let her know the real price of such work, so that she understands what you gave her. And the next time, my friend, speak your rate first. The true price honours the work and the person who receives it both.🙏
the bit about the mud walls and the gods got me. there's something in that, the idea that some work was never meant to have a number on it, and then you get dropped into a world where it has to. i still don't know how to hold both.
you're right though, about the telling people it's cheap part. that's the thing i keep circling. i did the discounting for her before she even asked, like i was apologizing for the work in advance. that's on me, not on her.