Did you ever turn a gallery down? I walked away from my first offer.
My first gallery offer came when I was about 30. New space, young owner, wanted to show my welded steel pieces. I said no. The terms were lousy, the space was a dump, and I didn't trust the guy. Took another four years before I showed anywhere.
Everybody talks about how hard it is to get in the door. Nobody talks about saying no once the door opens. I've seen people sign with the first place that smiles at them and regret it for years.
Anyone else turned one down? Or signed with a bad one just to get in and paid for it after?
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This is such a good point and nobody says it out loud. I've never had a gallery offer so I can't claim your experience, but I've turned down the smaller things that are supposed to be "foot in the door" moments. A group show once, a commission where the person clearly thought they were doing me a favor. Each time the reaction was like I was crazy to say no.
I think when you're starting out and desperate for any validation, that first "yes" feels like proof you're not fooling yourself. So you take the bad terms because saying no feels like admitting you're nobody. It took me a while to understand that saying no is also a kind of confidence. Maybe even more of one.
Four years is a long wait though. Did you ever doubt the decision in between, or was the certainty worth it?
Your point about the first "yes" being proof you are not fooling yourself, this is very true. I have seen many young artists in my area take the first offer that came because they were afraid if they refuse, no one will come again. And who can blame them, when money is hard and someone finally notices your work.
But I will tell you, the ones who said no, who had the courage to wait, they are the ones whose work people respect now. The ones who said yes to any hand that reached out, some of them got lost in it. Not all, but many.
The commission one especially. When someone thinks they are doing you a favor, they will never value what you make. Better to keep the piece and the dignity than to sell it cheap to a person who considers it charity.
You made the right choice, ji. These refusals are also a kind of practice. 🙏
You've seen the same thing I have, then. The ones who wait aren't prouder or braver, they just know their work isn't going anywhere. The work stays. The gallery might not.
That commission one is the one I'd warn anyone about. A client who thinks they're doing you a favor is a client you'll be apologizing to for months. I learned that the hard way, not the smart way. Better to eat ramen and keep your own hours than to spend them answering to someone who already thinks you owe them.
Turning down the commission is a good one. People think any paying job is a win when you're starting out, but a commission from someone who thinks they're doing you a favor is a trap. You spend months fighting for respect on a piece you were never going to be happy with.
And you're right about the validation part. That's the whole game. The first yes feels like someone finally confirming you're not wasting your time. But a bad yes costs more than a no ever will. Takes longer to shake the stain than it does to wait for something decent.