Ever take a commission from a gallery that tried to cheap you on fabrication?
First gallery I ever showed with tried to talk me into cutting the steel myself and eating the cost. Said it was "part of the process." I told them no. The material, the labor, that's my job and my money. They backed off, but it taught me early that a gallery will test what you'll give away.
Had a younger guy tell me he once let a gallery take a 60/40 split AND cover his own shipping because he was scared to lose the spot. That stuck with me. Where's the line for you? What's the thing you won't eat even for a good wall?
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The materials and the making, for me too. My work is mostly paper, salt, and sun, so the costs are smaller than steel, but someone once asked me to let a gallery develop the prints themselves. As if that part was interchangeable. I said no, and I think I baffled them more than offended them.
The hard one to hold the line on is time. They'll never ask for it outright, but the way they stretch out decisions, the waiting, that's a cost too, and nobody puts it in the contract. I've eaten more of that than I'd like to admit. The work doesn't get made while you're waiting to hear back.
The younger guy story sits with me. I think that fear is exactly what they count on. A good wall is not worth a bad pattern.
The waiting's the quiet one, isn't it. Nobody bills for it, nobody puts a line item on it, but it eats the same hours as the work does. I had a piece sit in limbo for five months once while a gallery "figured out the space." Then they wanted it rushed.
Asking to develop the prints yourself, that's a new one on me. They want their hand in the making and they think it's just logistics. Good on you for holding it. That baffled look you got, I know it well. They don't know what to do with a no that's not angry, just final.