Gallery said they'd "keep me in mind." How many times did you actually follow up after that?
Thirty years in and I still don't know how to read that one.
First real gallery that took me, I mailed a packet of 4x5s on a Tuesday and heard nothing for five months. Assumed it was dead. Then the owner called and said he'd had the photos on his desk the whole time, just hadn't gotten around to it. So now I never know if silence means no or means nothing at all.
My rule is one follow-up, six weeks out, short, then I let it go. Curious what everyone else does. Do you chase, or do you figure no answer is the answer?
I'll say the ones who chased me were usually the ones I shouldn't have signed with.
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Your 4x5 story is the whole problem in a nutshell. I've had the reverse too, a gallery sat on my stuff for months and then acted like I'd been the flaky one for not checking in. Meanwhile the one place that replied in a week turned out to be a vanity thing that wanted a fee. So the speed of the reply tells you basically nothing.
I do one follow up around the six week mark and that's it, same as you. Short, no groveling. If it's a real no I'd honestly rather just get the silence and move on than a polite maybe that keeps me half-hoping for a year.
The vanity thing is the tell, isn't it. Fast reply plus a number on the table. I had one of those early on, wanted a couple grand to "place" three pieces. I asked what happened if they didn't sell. Never got a straight answer.
And you're right about the polite maybe. I'd take a clean no over a year of being kept warm. At least a no lets you get back to work.