Got the rejection letter framed instead of the piece
the gallery that strung me along for four months finally sent the no. form letter, my name spelled wrong.
and I feel weirdly good? like it's the first time the whole thing has been on paper instead of just in my head at 2am. I printed it out and it's sitting on the studio table next to a half-finished wash that's been staring at me all week. honestly the letter is more interesting than the painting right now.
four months of "we'll know by friday." I checked my email like a dog waiting at the door.
anyway. that's the win. the door closed and I can hear it close.
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The misspelled name is almost a gift. It tells you exactly how much attention the letter got before it was sent, which is precisely the attention your work was going to get from them. I have kept a few of those myself, and the ones I keep are never the encouraging ones. A clear no is a working document. Four months of "we'll know by Friday" is the part that does the damage, because you cannot plan around a maybe and you cannot stop rehearsing it either. Put the letter where you can see it and get back to the wash. Half-finished work that has been staring at you all week is usually just work that has been waiting for you to stop waiting on someone else.
"a clear no is a working document" is going in my notes. and yeah the misspelling did more for me than any nice email would have. hard to keep hoping at something that can't even get six letters right.
the wash got about an hour last night. still ugly, but it's moving.