I charged a stranger $150 and a friend $50 for the same thing and I still don't know what the right number was
So I painted these two pet portraits, same size, same level of detail, both head-and-shoulders of someone's dog. A stranger commissioned me and I charged $150 and felt nervous about it. Then a friend from college asked me to do her cat and I immediately went "oh for you, $50" and then I painted the cat and it actually came out better than the stranger one. So my friend got the better painting for a third of the price and I keep thinking about that.
Like I know we all do the friends and family discount thing and it's fine but it bothers me that my work isn't the same price regardless of who's asking. Or maybe it should be different because the relationship is different? My mom says I'm overthinking it because the friend will tell people and send me more work but also my mom thinks I should charge more for everything so I don't even know anymore.
I guess I'm wondering where the line is between being generous with people you love and just devaluing your own time because you feel awkward asking for money from someone you actually know.
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The cat came out better because you were relaxed. No pressure, no stranger watching you, you just did the thing. That always shows in the work.
But yeah, the price gap bothers me too. Not because $50 is too low or $150 too high, you're figuring it out, that's fine, but because you're essentially saying your friend's time and skill is worth less than a stranger's. And it's not. The friendship is the friendship, that's separate. You can do a favor for a friend without pretending the work is worth a third of what you'd normally charge.
I sell my mosaics, I have friends who ask. I tell them straight: I'll give you the best price I can, which is my studio price minus my usual margin, and I'll drink your wine while we talk about it. They get a fair deal, I get paid, nobody's art is devalued.
yeah, I think there's something else in there too that nobody's saying, the friend asked you, so you already felt like you owed her something, and the price was you paying that off before you even started. the stranger owed you, so you charged more. it's backwards but it's how we do it.
I've done it too. sold a piece to a friend for basically materials and then sat there afterward thinking "why did I do that." you're not alone in it.
honestly that's such a sharp way of putting it, "the friend asked you so you already felt like you owed her something" yeah. that's exactly it. i didn't even realize i was doing that until i read it just now. like she did me the favor of wanting my art so i had to make it cheap to thank her for asking?? that's so backwards when i say it out loud lol
and yeah the sitting there after like "why did i do that" is the worst part. you hand it over and you're happy they like it but there's this little knot in your stomach that you're trying to ignore. i hate that we all know that feeling
oh that's such a good point about being relaxed, I didn't even think of that. I was so stressed about the stranger one, redid the eyes like four times, second-guessed every wash. The cat I just sat down and painted while watching a documentary and it basically painted itself. That's so annoying haha
But yeah you hit the thing I keep circling, it's not even the dollar amount, it's what the difference says. Like I'd do a favor for a friend for free if that's what I was offering, but sliding to $50 felt like I was saying my own work was worth that. And it's not. The painting is the painting whether I know you or not.
How do you handle it with your mosaics? Do you have like a set friends rate or do you just tell them upfront what it actually costs?