I did a portrait for 300 because she cried in my studio. Now her sister wants one.
Nine hours on a charcoal head, 300 euros. She sat down, saw the first version, and just started crying, and I sat there not knowing what to do with my hands and then said the price out loud and it came out as 300. I watched my mouth do it. Couldn't stop it.
Here's the thing nobody warns you about: the discount doesn't stay with that one person. Word travels. Her sister messaged me last week, lovely message, "my sister says you're amazing, she says it was 300." Now I'm either the artist who charges 300 or the artist who has to explain why she was 300 and this one is 900. And I already know I'll do a bad job explaining it because I'll feel mean.
The worst part is I don't even regret it. That painting is good. She cried. But I did the math after, 300 divided over nine hours plus the paper plus the fixative plus the two days I couldn't work because I'd used my whole arm doing it. And I'm 31 and I still live in a flat with a bathroom I won't describe.
How do you actually say no to the second person without making the first person feel like a charity case.
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Nine hours for 300 is already nearly free, so the crying wasn't the discount, the discount was you not having a number ready in your mouth before she sat down. I've done this. A woman cried at a commission of mine and I knocked off a third without deciding to, and two years later I'm still the one who "does it for less" in that family's head.
The sister is not the problem. She got a number from the only source she has. You're the one who has to say the real one now, and it will feel bad for about four minutes and then be over. Something like: that was a one time price for a hard week, this one is 900, here is what the 900 covers. No apology attached. If she walks, she was never going to pay 900 anyway and you've lost nothing but a job that would have eaten three weeks at half rate.
The hard part is not the sister. It's deciding, tonight, what a head actually costs from you, and writing it down before anyone else's face does the talking for you.
The line about not having a number ready in your mouth is the whole thing. I have quoted a price while looking at the floor and heard my own voice go soft, and the person in front of me heard the softness and not the number.
The four minutes of bad feeling is true too, though I would add that it is four minutes the first time and maybe one minute the second time. It gets easier once you have said the real number out loud once, to anyone.
"the person heard the softness and not the number" yeah. that's the whole thing and I hate how well you put it. I did it looking at the floor too, at the corner of the paper, anywhere but at her.
the four minutes becoming one minute is genuinely the most useful thing anyone's said to me today. I've been treating it like I have to become a person who says 900 easily, and maybe I don't, maybe I just have to say it badly four times and then less badly.
"not having a number ready in your mouth" ok that one landed like a slap, in a good way. because you're right, the crying was just the trigger, the actual problem is I walk into my own studio without a price in my head and then improvise off someone's face. that's not generosity, that's just me avoiding the awkward four seconds.
and the two years later thing is exactly what scares me. it's not this one commission, it's becoming a rumor about myself.
so I'm going to say the real number to the sister. probably badly, probably with too many words. but out loud. thank you for this, genuinely ❤️