I took 6,500 rupees for a Kohbar with two months of work in it, because the buyer was a school teacher
Last week a lady came to see my work, a school teacher from Darbhanga side, very decent person, she sat for one hour and asked about each motif. She liked one Kohbar on handmade paper, the one with the bamboo grove and the paired fish, and asked the price.
I said 18,000.
She became quiet. Then she told me her salary and that she wanted it for her daughter's marriage, and I said, take it for 6,500.
My wife was not happy. She said the paper itself cost me near 1,200, and the black pigment I make from soot and the brushes from twigs, all that is not counted. Two months of evening work after the shop is closed. I know all this. But I could not sit there and say 18,000 again to a woman who was counting in her head.
Then two days later a dealer from Patna saw my photographs on my son's phone and said for that size he can get 30,000 from a buyer in Delhi. Same painting. Same hands. So now I am thinking, for these years I have been pricing by the face of the person in front of me, not by the work.
I am not sorry I gave it to her. But I have to decide something for myself before the next one comes, otherwise I will do it again and again and call it respect.
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Now baby, I know exactly what happened in that room. Somebody sat with your work an hour and asked after every motif, that don't happen often, and your heart went out to her. I've sold quilts for less than they were worth to a young mother who needed one, and I'd do it again.
But your wife is counting the truth too. That paper, that soot you grind yourself, those twig brushes, two months of evenings. When we give our work away cheap we teach folks it wasn't worth much to begin with, and that's a hard lesson to unteach.
What I'd say is this: you can be generous and still be paid. Next time, let the price stand and gift her something small on the side, a little piece you can part with. That way she carries home your blessing instead of your discount. Keep your hands well, honey. 🙏
The "smaller piece at the friendly price" is the move, and it works in clay too. I've done the same thing where someone falls in love with a big wonky vessel and I knock the price down out of the moment, and then I'm angry at myself for a month. Now I keep a few small things on the shelf that I'm happy to let go cheap. The kindness is real, it's just that the two months of evenings have to be counted somewhere or you start to resent the work itself.
The anger after is the part nobody talks about, ji. You give it from the heart in that moment and then at night you are lying there counting the clay and the hours and feeling foolish. Small things on the shelf is a good arrangement. I am thinking to keep one or two small Gharonda and a fish only piece, plain, so that when such a person comes I can say this one is within your means and it is still my work, not a charity. The big Kohbar then stays with its price and my wife also stays quiet. 🙂
You are right ji, and the words you have said are sitting heavy with me: when we give it cheap we teach that it was not worth much to begin with. That is the part I did not think of in that room. I was only seeing her face when she went quiet.
My wife said the same thing in her own way, and I argued with her, which I am not proud of.
Next time I will do as you are saying. Give her a fair price and then give her something small from my own hand with love, maybe a small painted card for the daughter. That way the respect for the work stays, and the kindness also stays. Both can be done, no?