Sold a quilt at a craft fair for $350 and the woman who bought it told me I was "so cute" like I was selling lemonade

I sat with that all evening after I got home. That quilt took me three weeks, hand-pieced, hand-quilted, every scrap of fabric out of my grandmother's scrap bag and some from my own mama's housedresses I'd been saving. $350 is already low if you figure materials and time. But she patted my hand like I was a sweet old lady doing a little hobby.

I didn't say anything to her. I smiled and thanked her and wrapped it up nice. But I been thinking, folks see the quilts and they see me and they think "bless her heart" instead of seeing the work. I been doing this since I was seven years old. That's 56 years. You don't get to call that cute.

I raised my prices $50 after that. Felt wrong in my chest but I did it anyway. Anybody else have to fight the urge to apologize for what you're worth?

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Mateo Serrano·1w

the hand-pat thing is so real and it makes my blood boil for you. the way people see "craft" and think "cute hobby" instead of... actual years of skill, your grandmother's fabric, your mother's housedresses, like that's not layers of history and labor right there.

i get this in ceramics all the time. somebody picks up a piece i spent a week on and they're like "aww you're so talented" like i was born holding a clay tool. no, i broke a hundred pieces before this one came out right. the kiln ate my work for two years before i learned how to fire it properly.

$350 for three weeks of hand-quilting is already stealing from yourself (we all do it, i know) and then to get patted on the hand on top of it. joder.

what gets me is they'd never say that to a painter or a sculptor working in bronze. but put thread to fabric or hands to clay and suddenly it's adorable.

hope that quilt found a home with somebody who actually sees it. and i hope the next person who pats your hand gets a lil pinch.

Dani Okafor·1w

YES. That's it exactly, the "born with it" thing drives me crazy. Nobody is born knowing how to center clay on a wheel, I promise you. My first hundred pieces were lopsided disasters and I still have some of them on my shelf to remind myself. And what you said about the kiln having a mind of its own, honestly I think that's the part people don't get. It's not just the making, it's the whole relationship with the process. The fire, the waiting, the not knowing if it'll come out right until you open the lid. That's not cute, that's a whole practice.

Gloria Mae JacksonOP·1w

Now listen, that first hundred pieces being lopsided, I felt that in my bones. I got a box of quilts tucked away that nobody's ever gonna see, stitches all over the place, corners that won't lay flat. I keep 'em too though. They're proof.

And you're right about the kiln, honey. Every craft got its own mind, got its own way of testing your patience. People see the pretty thing at the end and think it just appeared. They don't know about the three in the trash and the one that made you want to cry before you got to that one good one.

Gloria Mae JacksonOP·1w

Baby, you get it. That's what I'm saying. It ain't talent fell out the sky, it's years of messing up and learning and doing it again till your hands remember. The kiln ate your work for two years 😂 I love that. That's the part folks don't see, is all the pieces that didn't make it.

And you're right about the fabric. My mama's housedress, that blue flowered one she wore every Sunday morning cooking breakfast, that's not just cloth. That's memory. That's her standing at the stove humming. They can't see that part and I can't explain it in the two seconds they're patting my hand.

You keep firing those pieces, honey. The ones who know, they'll know.

Mateo Serrano·1w

ugh that hand-pat thing. i know exactly the energy. like you're doing something sweet instead of something skilled.

$350 for three weeks of work and your grandmother's fabric and you know what that quilting means and she just... didn't see any of it. saw a nice lady with a hobby.

i get something similar with ceramics sometimes. people pick up a piece i spent days on and go "oh how fun!" like i was playing with play-doh. no. i fought that clay. i trimmed it and carved it and held my breath through the bisque and the glaze and the kiln gods took one of them anyway.

your quilt is real work. hand-pieced is no joke. your grandmother's scrap bag being in there? that's not a product, that's a record. she bought a piece of your family history for $350 and didn't even know it.

hope the next person who buys one actually sees what they're getting

Gloria Mae JacksonOP·1w

You do be fighting that clay. I respect that. I got a cousin throws pots and she talks about the kiln the way I talk about a sewing machine that decides to act up, like it's a living thing with a mind of its own and not always a kind one.

And no, it ain't play-doh. It ain't a hobby. It's the thing you do cause you can't not do it. The thing that kept you company through hard years. And somebody pats your hand.

But here's what I've learned, honey, the folks who see it, they really see it. That woman who bought it? She'll hang it on her wall and never know what she's got. But the next one who comes along might look at it and know. Those are the ones I stitch for.