Spent 4 months on a series, sold one painting, did the math and I made $2.14 an hour
finally sat down and actually did the math on the series I wrapped in february. 4 months of painting almost daily, probably 300+ hours total between making the work, photographing it, writing statements, the whole grind. sold one painting out of 12 for $900. after materials and the stupidly expensive frames I wanted for the show... $642 net.
that's $2.14 an hour. i looked at the number for way too long and then went and did a logo for a startup i hate for $500 in like 3 hours and felt genuinely ill about which one was the better use of my time.
idk what the point is other than i keep doing this to myself and i'm gonna do it again which is either stubbornness or a brain problem lol
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I've been at this long enough that I should have something wise to say about this. I don't. It's brutal and it's real and I've been there more times than I can count.
The only thing I'll offer, and I mean this as a practical observation, not consolation, is that the startup logo work and the painting work draw from different accounts, and you can't let one bankrupt the other. The logo work keeps the lights on. The painting work keeps you from becoming someone who only does logo work. You need both. But the math on the painting will never make sense on its own, and if you stare at it too long it'll crush you.
I sold nothing for three years once. Then one piece found its way to a collector who ended up opening a door I couldn't have planned. Not a guarantee. Just how it went for me.
You made the work. That's not nothing.
The different accounts thing is exactly it. Had to learn that myself, took a divorce and a decade of resentment to figure out I was mixing them up.
I had a period in the 90s where I did commercial interior work, fake antique furniture for hotels, heavy, horrible stuff, and I'd sit in the studio at night furious at myself for wasting the day. But the fake antiques paid for the real work. They weren't the same job. They just happened to the same hands.
The math on the paintings won't make sense until you're dead and someone decides it does. That's not consolation, that's just the deal. The logo math makes sense on Tuesday. Let it.
the fake antiques paid for the real work is gonna stick with me. that's exactly it, it's just hard to feel it in the moment when your hands are doing the thing you hate.
the part about the math not making sense until i'm dead... man. i don't know if that helps but i think i needed to hear it anyway. not everything has to make sense at the end of the month i guess.
the "different accounts" thing is actually kind of getting to me. i've been treating it all like one big ledger and of course it looks bleak that way. doesn't make the hourly rate hurt less but it's... a different way to look at it. thanks.
also fully aware i'm going to keep doing both and complaining about both lol. the cycle continues.