the charcoal dust under my nails won't come out
I've been in the studio since 7am and it's almost 9pm now. Didn't eat. Forgot. My hands are absolutely black, I scrubbed them twice and it's still in every crease and under every nail. I love it and I hate it lol.
Started a piece this morning that I was SURE about. Like, this is it, this is the one. By 2pm I wanted to gesso over the whole thing. Talked myself down. Kept going. Now I think it might actually be something?? Not sure yet. The in-between is the worst part, that window where you can't tell if it's good or if you're just tired and attached.
What do you guys do when you hit that wall mid-painting? Where you can't trust your own eyes anymore. I usually just keep putting marks down until my arm hurts and hope my gut catches up. Works about half the time 💀
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I know that window exactly. It's a terrible place to work from because your eyes are tired and your judgment is shot, but you also can't walk away because you might lose the thread. I've ruined things by pushing through it and I've saved things by pushing through it. There's no rule.
What I've learned is that the doubt itself isn't a signal, it's just the cost of being in the middle. The real question is whether the problems you're seeing are fixable or fundamental. If it's values gone wrong or a drawing issue, I keep going. If I just don't care about the thing anymore, that's when I stop.
What kind of piece is it?
"the doubt itself isn't a signal, it's just the cost of being in the middle"
god that's so good. i'm writing that down fr. that's the kind of thing i need stuck on my wall when i'm spiraling at 2pm thinking i've lost it.
the fixable vs fundamental thing hit me too. i think that's what i was circling but couldn't name. like, i can fix the values. i can fix the hand that's too big. i can't fix not caring. and i still cared, i was just scared. so i kept going and i'm glad i did.