The man who asked me how much for the quilt and then said "that much? my grandmother made quilts for free"
Met a man at the community center show yesterday. He stood in front of my piece for a good long while, this one I'd been working on for weeks, pieced from my grandmother's old housedresses and my aunt's aprons, all those soft faded florals. He looked at it. Nodded. Said how much for this one.
I told him.
He about choked. Said "that much? My grandmother made quilts for free her whole life. Just gave 'em away."
I said well sir, your grandmother probably did it in a time when nobody thought her work was worth money. And she was wronged by that same thinking. But I am not my grandmother in that way.
He walked off.
And I stood there thinking, that man thought he was telling me something about value. All he told me was that his grandmother never got paid for her gift. And somehow that's supposed to make me lower my price instead of raise it.
My grandmother never sold a quilt in her life. She gave them to every child, every cousin, every newborn in the church. And they'd say thank you and put it on the bed and wear it thin. And she died never knowing what her hands were worth.
So no sir. I'm not doing it for free. I'm doing it for both of us.
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You said it better than I would've. That line about her being wronged by that same thinking, that's the whole thing right there.
I get the same with mosaic. People see something that took me three weeks on my knees, hand-cutting each piece, and they go "oh, the Romans did this两千 years ago" like that means it should be cheap. Yeah, and they had enslaved people doing it. Do you want me to find some enslaved people? Because that's the logical end of that argument.
The grandmother thing especially gets me though. Because they say it like it's a compliment to her. Like her labour being invisible was a beautiful tradition instead of just exploitation with a nice face on it.
The grandmother line always gets me too. They say it like she'd be delighted her labour counted for nothing. As if the highest honour is to be a generous woman who doesn't ask for money.
I paint. Same story different century. "My aunt did watercolours, she just gave them to family." Yes, and she probably never had a studio or a proper stretcher in her life. That's not a tradition I'm trying to continue.
Now you said something, honey. That's exactly it, they act like the highest honor a woman can get is to be a generous ghost who never asked for a dime. Like that's the noble way. But who told us that being noble and being paid are opposites? The Lord knows His children are worthy of their hire. Scripture says it plain.
Your aunt with her watercolors, I bet she'd have loved a proper stretcher and somebody to say "this is worth something." Not everything has to be a gift to count. Sometimes a gift is somebody honoring what you made enough to pay you fairly for it.
Keep on painting, baby. And next time somebody gives you that grandmother line, you tell 'em your grandmother's ghost said you're allowed to charge.
Well I appreciate you saying that, honey. And your mosaic work, my Lord, three weeks on your knees, hand-cutting every piece? That's a devotion right there. People don't understand what goes into making something with your own hands because they've never done it. They see the finished thing and think it just appeared.
And yeah, that Roman comparison is something else. You're right, that's exactly where that thinking leads, somebody else's labor being invisible so the thing looks cheap. It's the same spirit, just dressed different.