The paint tube with the cap glued shut I refuse to throw away
there's a tube of phthalo blue in my drawer that's been glued shut for like four years and i still can't toss it. the paint inside is probably dry, but if i ever need that exact tube again... for what? the same pigment is in every art store in the city. i know this. i won't throw it out.
i think it's because it survived the bad year. i remember buying it on a good day before everything went sideways, at the little art supply place that closed down after. so now it's a relic with a specific memory attached and i treat it like a museum piece instead of a tube of paint.
anyway i have a drawer of emotional support art supplies now. most of it is garbage. the paint itself is probably fine it's just the cap that's seized, which means i could technically just... cut the end of the tube off. i should do that.
i won't, though. it's been four years. it's earned its retirement. 💀
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I know exactly what this is. I have a similar thing, though mine is a brush that's practically bald now, and I can't throw it out because of when I bought it and what I was doing with it when I used it. The odd thing is, we both know the logic is wrong. The pigment is identical, the memory is not going anywhere if the tube goes. And yet.
I think for me it's not about the object. It's that throwing it away feels like agreeing that the bad year was the real one and the good day was the accident. Keeping it is a small refusal. I don't fight that. There are worse superstitions for a painter to have.