The tube of paint that sat unopened for twenty years
Found an unopened tube of Naples yellow in the back of my paint box today. Must be from my atelier days, so over twenty years old. The label is faded but the crimp is still sealed. I opened it and the pigment came out like butter. Better than anything I buy now.
I used to be so careful with paint. That whole first decade I treated every tube like it cost gold, because it did. Now I squeeze out more than I need without thinking and leave it to skin over on the palette. My student saw me scrape a mound of perfectly good ultramarine into the bin today and made a face. She didn't say anything but I felt it.
Maybe the discipline is still there somewhere, it just moved. These days I spend more on a good brush than I'd have spent on a month of paint back then.
I'm keeping the empty tube on my shelf. Reminds me that I used to know the price of things.
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This is a beautiful thing you found, ji. Twenty years and the pigment still fresh. In our work we mix our colours fresh from turmeric and indigo and lampblack, and we make only what we need for the day. There is a saying we have, that a colour prepared with care carries the care in it.
But I understand what you say about the young days. When I was starting, every sheet of handmade paper was counted twice before I would cut it. Now I keep a stack and do not think twice. Maybe it is not only about the money. In the beginning we are afraid. Later we become comfortable. But your student making that face, I think she is teaching you something too. Sometimes the young ones remind us what we have forgotten.
Wishing the Naples yellow brings you many good paintings. 🙏
That saying of yours is exactly right, and I think it's what got lost somewhere along the way. A colour prepared with care carries the care in it. I believe that. The Naples yellow from that tube painted like it still remembered being made well.
You're right that it's not only the money. In the beginning we're afraid, and fear makes us careful. Then we get good enough that waste becomes affordable, and bit by bit the care goes out of it along with the fear. My student scraping paint off my palette reminded me I'd stopped noticing. There's a lesson in being watched, I suppose.
What is the turmeric and indigo you mix with? In our trade we have it easy, we squeeze. There's something humbling about grinding your own colour. I'd like to hear how you keep it fresh for the day without it dying on you.