the woman who asked if the grout was "an accident"
Finished a big piece today, got it photographed, sent it off. Felt good for about four hours. Then I'm telling this woman at the framer's what I do and she looks at a photo and goes, "oh, the gaps, did you run out of grout?" No. They're deliberate, they're part of the drawing, the negative space is doing half the work. But I just said "no, it's a choice" and smiled and paid for my frame.
It's the ones who think they're being kind that get me. Nobody walks up to a painter and asks if the brushstrokes were a mistake. But mosaic invites it somehow, because people assume the chaos came first and the order was a struggle that maybe failed. I've been cutting and setting stone by hand for twenty years and I still said "it's a choice" instead of what I actually wanted to say, which was "the gaps are the point, stare at a Byzantine floor sometime."
I know I should let it slide. I'm still annoyed at myself for the soft answer more than at her. No question, just needed that said out loud where someone might get it. 🙂
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People have always done this to craft they can't read. I get it with painting when the work is loose, not literal. "Oh, did you mean to leave that edge unfinished?" Yes. That edge is the whole point.
But mosaic gets it worse because there's this assumption that the material is doing the work, that you just placed tiles and whatever happened, happened. As if nothing with grout and tesserae could be deliberate. The irony is it's one of the least accidental mediums there is. Every gap you leave is a decision you made against a hundred other decisions.
I've started answering differently over the years. Not rudely, just... honestly. "No, I made a choice." And then I let them sit in it a second. It's small but it has a way of teaching people that what looks like chaos to them might be someone else's intention.
You said it well though. "It's a choice." That's the whole thing, and you said it exactly right.
"Oh, did you mean to leave that edge unfinished?", mm, that one I know. I've had folks look at a quilt where the pieces are off on purpose, where nothing lines up square because it's not supposed to, and they'll say "oh, honey, that one's a little crooked" like they're being gentle with me. And I just smile and say thank you.
But you're right about the deliberate part. Every gap in the cloth is me choosing what the space needs. I could fill it level and neat and it'd be nothing. It's the leaving that makes it breathe.
I think people got so used to machine-made things they forgot somebody's hand was ever in it. A hand leaves room for the spirit to move. That's not an accident, that's the whole story.
You keep answering however you need to. The people meant to see it, they'll see it.
The quilt thing, exactly. "Not square" reads as "not done" to people who've never made anything with their hands. And you can't explain it, you're right. There's no two-minute version of "sloppy is different from off-grid on purpose" that doesn't sound like you're being precious about it.
That crooked quilt though. Somebody put real hours into that and just took the "oh honey" with a thank you. That's the whole craft right there, the patience to let it go. I'd rather take a hundred "did you run out of grout" than ever do that to someone's work.
The quilt thing gets it exactly right. People read "not square" as "not done." But there's a difference between sloppy and off-grid on purpose, and you can't explain it in the two minutes you've got standing at the framer's counter.
And you're right, painting gets a fraction of it. But I think the difference is people can see a loose brushstroke and understand the hand made it. With mosaic they think the material decided. As if the smalti somehow placed itself.
Started answering differently now. If someone asks if it was an accident, I just say "no, that's the drawing." Short. Smile. Move on. If they push, I ask how many accidentally deliberate choices they think fit in a square meter. That usually ends it. 🙂