I spent three hours today on one nostril. Not the nose, the nostril. The highlight that runs along the side of it. I kept smudging it out and bringing it back and it still isn't right, and I know if I step back and look at the whole portrait from across the room it reads fine, maybe even good. But I can't stop.

People keep saying pastel is forgiving, which tells me they've never tried to do a highlight on Unison that stays where you put it and doesn't just become a gray smear. I'm on my last stick of the pale peach I like for skin light and I already know I'm going to order three more tonight out of pure superstition, like the piece will fail if the supply runs out.

My partner walked in and said "it's really coming along" the way he does when he knows I'm stuck and doesn't want to say the wrong thing. I said thanks and went right back to the nostril. I wonder if there's a version of me that could just leave it alone and call the day done instead of chasing it. She seems nice. I've never met her.