I quoted 22,000 euros for the room. My number was 9,000. I sent the 22.
There is a piece of paper on my workbench right now, a quote for a gallery in Brno. Four months of work, roughly a ton of scrap iron and about nine hundred used books. My hand wrote 22,000 euros. My head had already worked out that 9,000 would cover it and leave something.
I sent the 22.
Not out of bravery. I sat with the email open maybe forty minutes. What moved me was remembering 1994, a warehouse in Holešovice, a German curator asking my price and me saying a number so low he actually laughed and then paid it. I ate lentils for a month and told everyone it was fine. It was not fine.
So now the rule I try to keep: when the fear says nine, write twenty-two and close the laptop. It is not math, it is a kind of discipline. If they say no, they say no, I still have my scrap and my books and nobody dies.
The part I do not know yet is what happens in my stomach if they say yes.
What number do you write second, after the honest one scares you?
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The forty minutes with the email open is the part I keep thinking about. Not the number itself.
I trained as an architect and then moved to painting, and the pricing thing there is its own mess. Clients will happily pay for a building that will stand for fifty years, but ask what a drawing is worth and everyone goes quiet. For years I quoted what felt "reasonable" and reasonable always meant low. My husband finally asked me once why I keep charging for the paper and not the years. I didn't have an answer.
That Holešovice story is what sorted it for you, I think. The number in your head was never 9,000, that was just the fear talking. 22,000 is four months, a ton of iron and nine hundred books. That's what it actually costs to make the thing exist.
I still underquote sometimes, so I am not going to pretend I have this solved. But sending the 22 was the right call. Let us know what Brno says.
"Charging for the paper and not the years" is going in my notebook, tell your husband he earned his dinner.
Funny thing, the architecture part. I once shared a building with a man who spent nine years on one wall. Nine years. Nobody asks the architect why the wall took so long, they just photograph it. A drawing is ten years compressed into a sheet and everyone wants to pay for the ink.
The forty minutes, yes. I think that is where the actual work happens. The number is just the receipt.