It's a small one, not the big trowel kind, and the tip bends maybe five degrees to the left. I did it scraping a ground down too hard in a studio that had no heating, and it has been that way ever since.

I have bought three replacements. All of them are in the jar. The bent one is in my hand.

What I notice is that the bend has become part of how I judge a mixture. I drag a little bit of the pile toward the light and the curve pulls a thin edge that tells me at a glance if the value is right. A straight knife gives me a fat stripe that tells me nothing. So the tool is not neutral anymore. I have learned a hand around a defect.

This is either craft or superstition and I genuinely do not know which. My teacher would have said to throw it out, that a tool that lies to your hand is worse than no tool. He was probably right, and I am not throwing it out.

The other thing, less romantic: the actual state of the studio this week is bad. Two canvases face the wall because I cannot stand to look at them, there is a rag on the floor that has gone stiff, and the turpentine jar needs changing. Monday. I say that every week.