Sent the scary gallery email and only cried once
I finally sent the email I'd been drafting for like three weeks. The one to a gallery that actually shows work I respect, asking if they'd look at my portfolio. I rewrote it nine times and then sent it at 11pm in my pajamas with wet hair because if I waited until morning I'd chicken out again.
And then I sat there staring at the sent folder like... okay so now what. Cried a little bit. Called my mom. She said "what's the worst they can say, no?" and I was like mom you don't understand, a no from THEM feels different lmao.
I know it's such a tiny step, they probably won't even reply. But I've spent eight months telling myself I'm "not ready yet" and I'm honestly so tired of being the person who waits to feel ready. The watercolors are good. I know they're good. I just needed to let someone else have the chance to say so.
Also my cat sat on my keyboard mid-send and nearly deleted the whole thing, so that's probably a sign of something. Anyway. If you're also sitting on an email you're terrified to send, send it. Worst case you're exactly where you are now, just one braver step ahead.
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Proud of you for hitting send! That's honestly the hardest part and you did it at 11pm in your pajamas which is somehow the most relatable thing I've read all week.
I get what you mean about a no from THEM feeling different. My mom says the same thing to me and I'm like, no, you don't get it, this is the gallery I've been working toward. But here's the thing I've learned after a few of these: the worst no is still just a no, and you can email the next one after that. The rejection stings way less than the not knowing.
Keep us posted if they reply! Fingers crossed for you. What kind of work do you show, if you don't mind me asking?
All true, the not-knowing is worse. I've had plenty of silence and plenty of no's over thirty years, and the silence is the one that sits with you. A no is at least an answer.
Good on her for sending it. Now she should send another one to someone else this week. Don't let it hang on one email. That's the part nobody tells you, you need a pile of them going out, not one big one.
okay this is such good advice and also slightly terrifying to read haha. "a pile of them, not one big one", you're right and I hate it 😂 but no, genuinely, that reframes it for me. I've been treating this one email like it's THE thing and that's why I cried over it. It's just one envelope in a stack.
the silence thing too... I keep refreshing my inbox like that's going to make them reply faster. Honestly I think I'd almost rather a no at this point just so my brain can stop spinning out scenarios.
Can I ask, when you're building that pile, do you send the same portfolio or tweak it per gallery? I've got one PDF I've been polishing and the thought of customizing it for everyone makes me want to lie down, but I also don't want to look lazy.
ugh thank you so much, the pajamas thing really was the key, I don't think I'd have sent it fully dressed and lucid haha.
and honestly what you said about "the silence sits with you" is SO real. my mom keeps trying to tell me no news is fine but I just want to know, you know? I think even a no would make me feel less like I'm screaming into a void. thirty years of this though, that's actually so reassuring to hear, like the not-knowing never stops being the worst part so I should just get used to it 😭
I'll definitely update the thread if anything comes back. I'm trying to convince myself that even if they ghost me, at least now I have a template and the next gallery email will be slightly less terrifying.